Favourite pre-teen show ever: Caitlin’s Way

This is pretty random (and pointless, but who cares, I love it nonetheless), but I scrolled down Twitter just now and saw a friend retweeting something from a girl named Caitlin and I straight away had a blast from the past moment with one of my favourite TV series; Caitlin’s Way.

It’s so crazy as to just how much of a fan girl Iwas towards the show. That show is just so, you know, me. (says any Y2K pre-teen girls pretending to be teens). But seriously though, I was such a HUGE fan! It’s insane!

caitlins-way

I also had major girl crush on Lindsay Felton too; the actress who played Caitlin. I Googled an image for her and this (look below) popped up! Oh the memories! I remember this picture! LOL.

Caitlins_Way_Lindsay_Felton_5

I Googled on new projects by her but her Twitter and Instagram popped up instead which is pretty cool. It’s nice to know that your favourite childhood idol is up and well today. I’m genuinely happy for her and she seemed like a cool person to get to know, but obviously, being friends with a fan half way across the world would be too weird. I don’t know. LOL.

Anyway, sorry if this post isn’t thought-worthy. I have many posts in my draft box which I have yet to complete (blaming school!!!!). Have a nice week ahead!

Jasmine x

The things that I can and cannot do.

Before I go to the things I cannot do, let’s talk about the things that I can do and would often do.

Cussing

I cuss like a choo choo train. It’s normal for me to go out and scream, “FUCK!” or “SHIT!” or “FUCKER!” or you know, whatever. I try to minimize cussing in public these days though. I find that many people (surprise surprise) find it insulting and I am not someone who thinks that cussing is cool but rather an expression of well, my expression and if someone can’t handle it which is completely understandable, then I will respect that.

As much as I would like to go around, “FUCK WHAT THEY THINK!”, I can’t as that would be incredibly insensitive and irresponsible of me.

Talk about sex and sexuality openly

I learned as a teenager that other teenagers (and adults too!) get their information on sex and sexuality wrong. You know someone’s knowledge of sex is limited and unreal when they based it on porn. You can watch it as reference to practice and/or masturbate, sure, but you can’t expect to be presented with a 6-inch, clean shaven, circumcised, beautifully-structured penis that would make you moan and groan in completely desire once inserted in your vagina. Most of the time, the opposite happens and you’d just lay there in pure disappointment for not feeling all the incredible emotions that you saw on pornography. Boo-hoo!

This is why we need to get real information and be unafraid to ask. We need to start asking what we do not know or not sure about.

  • No, you are not obliged to let guys cum in your mouth and face just because you see it in porn.
  • No, you do not have to have a big penis to pleasure a girl.
  • Yes, you do have to stimulate the girl either by rubbing her clitoris, going down on her or fondle with her breasts to turn her on, don’t just fuck her.
  • Yes, turning a girl on is not as easy as you see on porn and different girls have different ‘switches’. You can just try one switch for every girl.
  • The proper terms are penis, vagina, anus and breasts, not cock, pussy, asshole and boobs. Get it right.
  • Yes, you should tell a girl that you’re uncomfortable or that it hurts or tickle when she starts slapping your balls or eating it whole. (By the way, ew.)
  • No, don’t feel bad that you’re 20 and haven’t had sex yet. Stop pressuring yourself just because society tells you that you should lose your virginity when you’re like 10. WTF society?!

REAL INFORMATION PEOPLE!

Cover any uncomfortableness with a dash of fabulousity

I would like to think that I’m good at sarcasm especially when comments about my weight are thrown in. I hate that. I mean, I get it, I’m a big girl, there is no need to remind me of my size. “Oh Jasmine, you’ve grown fatter since I saw you!” “This is not fat, this is sexiness being oozed out. Have you seen my breasts and ass? BAM!”

I mean, why not comment on something totally not my weight? Be different. “Oh Jasmine, you’ve got incredible writing skills that is beyond your age and even if I don’t agree some of the things you said, I am proud to know you personally.” BAM!

SO, here are things I CANNOT do.

Putting up the middle finger

Sorry guys, I can’t. It feels too vulgar and if I had to, which I often find that I do, I’d bring my energy from every part of my body to put up that middle finger. Isn’t it funny? I can cuss, but I can’t physically cuss. How pathetic!

Can’t stop overthinking that I’m good enough for something or someone

I cannot stop overthinking how useless I can be sometimes and it’s true. I get really awkward and tense when I talk about having a boyfriend because I tend to think that people would think that I’m too fat or ugly to actually be in a relationship despite how incredibly awesome I am. (Yes, I am aware of that.) I always hear people say things like, “Those people aren’t  attractive and even they have partners and I don’t!”. There are times where I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy just because I am a certain size. It’s messed up, I know.

I fucking blame the media for this!

You

Get it? :D

Okbye!

First audio post!

Just trying this baby out. I find this mighty helpful in times of pure laziness (in typing).  Hah! This was just a test to see if this thing works and it does! Cost me 30 sens for a minute which is not too bad.


Interesting finds on the web: From Seth Rogen’s Alzheimer plea to how to identify an abuser

1) Seth Rogen’s Alzheimer plea

1

Funny guy, Seth Rogen, gave a humourous yet touching speech before the U.S. Senate subcommittee about Alzheimer’s research where he fights to make sure  money is appropriated to fund medical research on her behalf. Having never experienced Alzheimer’s before, I never knew how incredibly horrendous the disease was. It was not just mere misplacing keys, but as Rogen explained, extreme cases of the disease includes not knowing how to talk, go to the toilet or even walk which is currently happening with his own mother in-law.

I’m sure him and his wife are terrified of this because it’s hereditary and his wife could get it too :(

Watch this video, it’s worth it.

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2) When you’re not Chinese enough

This article has been shared around Facebook a lot recently which I’m sure you have seen it too. For those of you who haven’t read it, such myself before this, you would have thought that it would be an article about a Malaysian Chinese banana who was not ‘Chinese enough’ for their own good and is ranting about it, at least I did, but I assure you that it is not.

For one, it was not written by a Chinese. In fact, it was written by a Dusun-Bajau lady from my state of Sabah who talks about how a recent break up with her Chinese boyfriend prompted her to write a piece about how belonging to different faith or ethnicity from those you love ultimately ended a great relationship. It’s a story about social stigma, where in Malaysia, especially Peninsular Malaysia, being friends  or being in a relationship with someone of a different colour, faith or ethnicity (especially with one that is a supposed ‘lower’ caste than yours) is taboo and ‘wrong’.

I personally feel sad for her, but I mostly feel sad because this is real life in Peninsular Malaysia which I hope does not spread in Sabah and Sarawak because we just can’t handle shit like this, I swear :/

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 3) It Happened To ME: I was abused by my dom

This, I thought, was an extremely interesting albeit taboo topic on BDSM. Taboo or not, BDSM is something very real and I do know some friends who actually engage in it. This article is a great example on how people  misrepresent and abuse a term/title/activity for their own benefit just to cover up their hideous crime, or perhaps they just do not understand what exactly some of the things they claim to be really meant.

This girl was abused by her dom, or rather, by someone who calls himself a dom and this was her account.

I talked to my friend who does BDSM and she tells me that this is not what being a dom is. Torturing others without worrying your partner’s safety and then ridicule them for being ‘weak’ is not part of the BDSM culture. Despite what you watch on porn videos, Doms and Subs are essentially people who although has fetish over things like pain and choking, there is such thing as respecting each others’ requests and safe words to prevent injuries.

Important note to take back: Be careful and always talk to someone (whether it be your family, friends or ask people online) about things you are not sure about, don’t keep things to yourself.

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4) Lea Michele’s song for Cory

Some of the lyrics:

It’s been seven whole days, seven whole days
Since you paralyzed me
Seven whole days, seven whole days
Since you lost your fight

It’s been seven whole days, seven whole days
Since I heard the phone ring
Seven whole days, seven whole days
Since I heard your voice

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 5) On a lighter note, here’s a really funny yet adorable animation

I absolutely love the last bit of the video! Truly unexpected!

Have a great weekend! It’s my birthday weekend, let’s party!

How I found out everything about a stranger on the Internet.

You know what’s spooky? Finding out information about a total stranger on the Internet.

I was talking to someone on this website which everybody is crazy about using fake names on and fake profiles because well, not everyone’s comfortable enough to expose themselves. I had a pretty decent nice time talking to the guy and then he asked if he could add me up on Skype, so I said yes.

I have two Skype accounts; one for close family and friends and the other, for random strangers/friends I meet online (some of which I came to be very close friends with). I obviously added him on the 2nd account. He however, added me on his Skype (I doubt he has two Skype accounts or is even active on Skype because there were only 2 friends there) which has his full name.

I was curious about him, so I started random searching for his name on Facebook and three exact names came up. I knew which state he was from, so out of the three names, only one fit the same state description. I decided to dig in deeper and searched for his name and state as key words on Google and a high school website pop up. The high school pretty much narrowed down what town he came from but I wasn’t too sure if it was him.

So I casually asked him (on Skype) which town or area does he live in, but he didn’t give me a specific name but his casual, “Oh, near __” gave me a clear picture of where it actually is and guess what! It matched the description of the guy on Facebook and high school website! I knew right away that it was him.

So now, I know where he lives, where he used to study and how he looks like.

But I didn’t stop right there, I wanted to know what other information can I find about the guy. So in the search box, I typed his full name, town and high school and booom! I found his high school’s baseball team name list and there he was! So now I know details of his sports history back in high school; jersey number, what year he graduated, what position he was in and more pictures of him playing sports.

I linked everything together and I found the guy! I found the exact guy! Prior to this, I only had a name and state he is from, but with just that, I can find out his whole history with the help of the internet! It was obvious that it was him because his username was a dead giveaway to his love for sports, particularly baseball since he was the captain of his own high school team! Talk about passion exuded via an innocent username choice.

I was pretty freaked out (and amazed) by my ability to find out everything about some ‘anonymous’ guy I met off the Internet and I’m even more freaked out by the fact how I, your normal average Jane, can find details about him at the tip of my fingers.

Can you imagine what some a professional hacker and stalker can do if he did his homework well enough?

Be careful and stay safe on the Internet! You never know what bad person is lurking around!

Written by me, August 11th 2011.

So my birthday is coming.

I love birthdays, especially mine.

Nobody loves my birthday as much as I do and I’m not ashamed to admit it too!

16th (yes, I know) birthday pictures. The age where I just couldn’t wait to grow up hence the whole ‘I’m so sexy(sexual?)’ poses :/

17, tamer, pouty phase.

18, super thin unfilled eyebrows with an interest in exploring falsies too thick for my own good.

19, where I became mature and chill about things. No sexy kitten, cutie baby and fail attempt at looking all chic. This is I think my goofy phase.

20th birthday surprise face. I love throwing surprises, but I hate getting them.

21 missing

22, growing to be a woman!!

22, growing to be a woman!!

23, mix match clothes-themed birthday party!

24?????

This year? Who knows! It’s my favourite year too. Not only is my birthday is an even number (I have this thing with even numbers) but it’s the year of the Horse too! MY YEAR! I’m a horsey!

Nothing big planned out this year. In fact, I haven’t planned out anything just yet! Yikes!

By the way, my birthday’s on March 2nd, so you’re not too late with them presents! ;)

5 things I learned as a young adult

We all learn something as we grow up. Many of us learn it the hard way and it takes these hard ways to shake us up and have this self-revelation thing. These are mine.

1. Never assume

This is my one thing that I hold on to and urge that you do it too. I wrote an anti-poem about assuming a few days ago out of frustration when a friend ‘assumed’ things about me. It tattered our relationship for a bit which was painful. I knew assumptions ruin relationships and often put me in hot soup, so I stopped doing it and start asking. I asked so much fearing that I probably misheard some things, or that I asked because I needed a clearer instruction. It made people annoyed with me which I much rather happen than to have myself wronged for something out of a product of assumption.

It (not assuming) had saved my ass so much, thus far.

2. Not everyone is impressed by your humour

Do not think that just because your normal clique of friends think that your sick perverted joke is funny, your other (new) friends/ acquaintances think so too. I found this the hard way when I purposely injected some jokes about the beauty of porn and how I like some porn over the other as a way to overcome an awkward silence with a friend whom I knew from university. She was an acquaintance that I knew since our first year in uni. This ‘smart’ move to make everyone laugh during our group outing led to me getting an incredibly horrible eye rolling and ‘you’re so dumb’ look from her which made me feel so stupid and down the whole time we were out.

Of course, I started assuming that she hates my guts and didn’t talk to her for quite sometime. I eventually ignored my feelings of intimidation and bounced back as myself again, minus the whole sick perverted joke to which she responded positively, not that I cared to be honest (by then).

3. Make time for your loved ones

My late grandfather. RIP.

My late grandfather. RIP.

Death of a loved one changes you. When my great-grandfather passed away in 2009, it was my first time experiencing death of a close family member. It made me realize how short life is and how I needed to step up my game and spend more time with my loved ones. So I started spending time with my family as much as I can and doing things that I don’t necessarily like, which includes: go with grandma for her detox thing, vase hunting with mom, visit my grandparents often, driving both my grandma and mom around, go do gardening stuff etc. 

The one thing that I’m glad I did was visiting my grandfather as often as I can, especially when I come back from university (I study half across the country from my hometown). We don’t talk a lot, we just mostly sit there and watch his Chinese films, but that didn’t matter, I wanted to be there. When he passed away last October, I was devastated. What made things bearable was that I knew I spent as much time as I can with him so I have no regrets at all. I can still hear him telling me over and over about how proud he is of me and I carry that memory with me wherever I go.

4. Wake up early (a.k.a. get your shit together)

Waking up at 2pm is probably cute when you’re 16, but when you’re 28 (or 38 or 48), it just sounds sad. I am no morning person. I hate it. It’s disgusting. It’s a horrible creation. BUT you can’t deny that it is the most important time of the day where amazing things happen. Successful people such as, wake up super early.

If you want to fulfill something, you need to wake up early, unless of course, you work on night shift. I remember in high school during one of those long one-month break, I felt that the day went by too quickly and my holiday was ending. It dawned on me that me waking up at 12pm everyday meant that I already lost half of my day which made time pass by so fast. So I woke up slightly early at 9am. It’s no 5am, but at least my day is more ‘longer’ and I could do more stuff!

5. Create a more positive and safe cyber space for yourself

Your surrounding is important. Where you live, who you’re with and what you do dictate how you feel and view about yourself and about things in general. Nowadays, the ‘real’ world isn’t the only place that you need to care for. Your cyber world is just as important too and as Gen-Ys and Zs, we of all people understand this fully having spent half if not most of our lives ‘plugged in’.

Your online activity and persona is one that is important and personal because it is a space where you can be just about anybody and portray yourself to be whoever you want to be. The cyber space is a space where you can be lost in, or influenced by, so it is incredibly important that you create a positive space for you to ‘live’ in.

Facebook is a good example on how you can feel crappy about things in a matter of seconds seeing all those depressing status updates from your friends or feel angry seeing how fake people can be online when you know how they actually are in real life.

I.e., “I hate fake people. I am going to step away from all these fake people and live my life to the fullest!” Said super fake rich friend who hangs with only popular people and dumps them when their popularity went away. *rolls eyes*

You don’t need people like this to clutter your mind. You see this people everyday on your news feed, so why torture yourself? My suggestion? Mute them. Mute friends who give you bad vibes if you don’t want to completely rid of them fearing that they will ‘fight’ back against you. In the real world, you can just ignore them because you don’t meet them that much anyway, but when you’re plugged in to their lives, it’s hard to ignore because you see them every single fucking day and it’s just so fucking annoying.

So, shut them up with just one click and enjoy that peace of mind that you have longed for. Or better yet, delete them, block them, do everything and anything. You don’t deserve their negativity.

There you go! Let me know if you have any lessons that you would like to share!