How porn (indirectly) contribute to positive body image

NOTE: Read the post. Trust me, it’s worth every minute spent ;) At least, I believe so!! :) Plus, it gives you a reason to watch porn and look at naked pictures!! LOL!

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I have a confession to make… I watch porn.

Here’s another confession… I like it.

Here’s yet another confession… I confess too much. :P

Before you get all disturbed (lol!) at the thought of me watching porn AND at my title, let me tell you this. I cannot deny, in a million years, that porn contributed in ruining my self-esteem. Not only did I get pressured from Hollywood on what the ‘ideal’, ‘beautiful’ body should look like, seeing naked, slim, heavy silicon-chested porn stars didn’t help as well!

But over time, we all tend to learn that there are different types of porn out there catering to different types of people. Upon this realization, I came to know that not EVERYONE enjoy looking at silicons and super skinny waist. In fact, I was quite surprised to know the different categories that porn sites have; MILF (Mother’s I Would Like To Fuck), mature, teen, BBW (Big Beautiful Women) etc…

BBW sailor ;)

The thing is, I believe in the power of shock treatment, in its literal sense.

I’m a big girl, I’m not going to deny or lie about that. In the past, I would’ve. I’ll meet people online and show them pictures of my face (rarely a full body picture) where I would look slimmer because of a certain angle it was taken; a constructed picture of myself. But recently, I tend to not do that any more and just give them a full body picture. I mean, like it or not, you have to accept the fact people come in all shapes and sizes, and if these so-called new-found friends think that only the Hollywood-sized people roam the world, they should take a mirror and take a good look at themselves!

Unless though, they actually do look like Hollywood, then uhm, yeah, my argument is invalid :P

Haha! [source]

But going back to the shock treatment bit, focussing on BBW… I have to say that I was really surprised that there are actually quite a number of men out there who love big women, and what was surprising was that, some of these women are big. At least, bigger than me. And yet here they are, being worshipped by really hot men.

I know that it’s porn and it’s ‘staged’, but I mean, just the thought that normal people would find this sexy is a shocker. Just think about it. They won’t make BBW porn if there isn’t a market for it, and clearly there is or you wouldn’t find BBW porn stars or blogs of plus sized girls showing off their bodies on the Internet or have people commenting on how beautiful and sexy their bodies are.

Thus brings me to my next point: BLOGS.

I’m not saying that porn contributed to the idea of having girls (and guys, mind you!) running to post pictures of themselves online; on blogs mostly. But I do believe that it contributed to that, somewhat. And trust me when I say that posting naked pictures of yourselves is not necessarily ALL bad and immoral. Sometimes, it does have a positive impact too.

We all have body-related self-esteem issues. Even super models and celebrities have self-esteem issues (cite needed, but I still do believe that it’s true!). Self esteem, we all have it in us. Not all of us can be fully confident and happy with ourselves. Some of us can, and that’s only because they concentrate on other plus points of themselves; like nice breasts, nails,hands, waist, thighs, legs…

I believe that the only way we can accept ourselves is by embracing the naked body, our naked body, and all its beauty.

You may flinch looking at some parts of your body and wished that it would be different; small breasts, big breasts, big thighs, boy-ish figure… But trust me, it’s an amazing feeling to actually get to know your body and find out all the different bits about it and once you do that, you’ll learn to appreciate it. You will struggle to appreciate it, but in time, you will somehow. It’s a process, so don’t hurry! :)

Photo posted on All Sizes Are Hot. [source]

What she wrote on her photo description:

My tummy has been the hardest part of my body for me to accept. It’s got stretch marks and it’s jiggly and sometimes I hate it. But it’s a part of me and I love who I am, so I am learning to love my tummy as well. I am so inspired by all the beautiful women who post on here! I am always looking for more beautiful chubby girls (and guys) to follow on here, so if you’d like to check out my blog, go ahead! http://eunoiamusings.tumblr.com/

I’ve seen a lot of blogs (such as All Sizes Are Hot, for example; NSFW) where people post naked (albeit anonymously) pictures of themselves online. I didn’t understand why at first, but after hundreds of pictures and their justifications about why they did what they did, I tend to feel good about myself. Not because I think that I have a better body than them, but because I view this sense of wanting to show themselves off as a way of boosting their own confidence, so in turn, I see them as being confident and I feed off this confidence. These girls’ bodies are not Hollywood material, they look just like me, and yet, they have the courage to post themselves naked for people to see and people actually respond to that; giving positive comments. Sexual comments, but positive nonetheless.

I mean, some sexual comments can be a form of flattery. Emphasis on the ‘some‘. :P

Also, I’m not saying that you should go and start posting naked pictures of yourself now. I’m just suggesting that you should go to these websites, look at the pictures and other people’s comments. That’s good enough to boost your confidence!

Read about this girl’s struggle with accepting her body. I like how she’s 18 and she has a positive outlook on her body. [NSFW]

And I like how there are blogs (like Deep Desire Enquiries) that caters to answering questions about sex, body and relationship issues. I think it’s really healthy to talk about all these issues openly (anonymous or not) and not be in the dark about it, and that blog helps a lot.

Also, I would HIGHLY recommend you to watch Laci Green’s videos because she promotes sex and body positiveness. She is AMAZING. I love her to bits! Here’s her Tumblr account and website too. And no, she does not post naked pictures of herself, so don’t even think about it! :P But anyway, you can thank me later ;)

But not all blogs that talk about positive body image should show naked pictures of people; just like how Laci does it. Another blogger that I love is Gabi (a rad fashion blogger), Jay Miranda and Nadia Aboulhosn (a fashion designer, fashion blogger and plus size model) who is super confident with their bodies, it’s crazy! I love it!

Here are some really good plus sized fashion bloggers too who talk about fashion and self-confidence; Big Hips Red Lips, Live A Little and Rawr Manifesto. Oh, and Curvy Is The New Black is an awesome blog that promotes all curvy women! It’s super awesome!

Laci Green is super awesome. Tell her I told you that ;)

Gabi in one of her plus size bikini

Jay Miranda is gorgeoussssssss!

Super gorgeous Nadia Aboulhosn!

Porn introduces nakedness to us and the different porn genres enable us to understand that different people have different interests and that it is the media that politicize on what is the ‘ideal’ body without realizing that every body size is ideal and beautiful.

Although I do prefer me some Chris Hemsworth-type bodies, I personally prefer a much heavier (not obese, just heaver) guy to compliment my heavier size. Can you imagine how fucking fat I’d look like beside a skinny boyfriend? There is such thing as optical illusion and having a boyfriend my size is my way of actually illusionizing my body to seem thinner :P But I ain’t trying to be mean! It’s a win-win situation. Think about it! I’ll appear thin and he’ll appear thin too! :P

But in all seriousness, I won’t date a guy just because he makes me ‘thinner’. That’s just shallow. :/

Cute couple; Adele and Simon.

Another reason why I’m not so worried about what other people think of my body is because I have met a lot of men (most of whom are SOOOO hot!) who told (and is telling!) me that I’m beautiful the way I am. I tell them all the time that I hated how my body looks like but the thing is though, to them, it’s beautiful. They appreciate a woman’s anatomy because, obviously, we’re fucking hot! :P

But I won’t deny that some guys do have preference as to what they like (just like us girls). Though, don’t let that dampen your hopes! I do believe that there is someone for us, they’re just got lost finding their way is all! ;)

Super adorable couple; picture and story taken by Fuck Yeah Chubby Couples.

Her story:

My fiance’ and myself. He loves every bit of me, and quite frankly, he can barely keep his hands off me. When I tell him I’m fat or chubby, he just tells me to shut up because I am gorgeous. 

I used to be uncomfortable about myself, but he seriously has changed me. I love my body, I love being chubby. Period.

Love your bodies, dolls! Srsly♥

If you want to search for more blogs/websites that features body positive stuff, try Googling for it. Or you can even go on Tumblr and search for whatever it is that you want to search. Because I’m interested in seeing pictures of women with bodies closer to mine, my search on Tumblr are words such as ‘chubby’ and ‘curvy’. A word of caution though, be ready to get flooded with naked pictures of both MEN and WOMEN. Mostly women, but meh. If it’s a guy, I do believe that most of them (if not all) are gay. Just a heads up!

And if you do plan to watch porn and if it is your first time especially, try not to watch porn-star porn. Watch those ‘reality’ stuff or ‘amature’. These are real people with non-Hollywood type bodies.

Here’s a picture of me with my gorgeous (and thinner :p) baby sister, J. Tell me how I can not be pressured to look thin with her around!! Seriously! Lol!

Okay, before you torch me up because of your disagreement with my thoughts, let me tell you that this is just one-sided opinion; my opinion. I know that there are a million ways to improve your self-esteem and this is just one of them. This (going through porn and naked pictures of women of all shapes and sizes) might not even be an option for you because of your cultural and religious background, and it’s fine. DON’T follow what I said if it’s against what you were brought up.

But anyway, that is all I have to say! More in the future I hope! I feel strongly about thissss!! :)

Last image before I go though. ;)

FACT

Why I love talking to myself

My mom told me this once before.

“When you were younger, you talk to yourself.”

And I still do! Even at 22! (That rhymes, by the way. Lol!)

I know, pretty weird. But I could never not remember a day in my life where I stopped talking to myself. The thing is, I love talking to myself. Does that make me sound crazy? I hope not. I would hate having you to think that you’re reading some crazy person’s blog.

I have fun talking to myself. I am my own company, especially when I have no one to talk to. I guess, that’s why I like writing on journals and blogs, it’s like me talking to myself but without my mouth moving, just the voices in my head; my thoughts, if you may. And the best part is (or not, lol), people get to read it.

I talk to myself at night especially, before going to bed. I remember dragging my sister into being one of my ‘guest’ for my talk show whereby I would be the ‘host’ and ‘audience 1′ and my sister would be ‘audience 2′. She would play along for a while, but then, she would get bored and go sleep, so I would continue playing around.

Mom would sometimes knock on the wall to tell me to sleep after listening me talking to myself. “Are you talking to yourself? Go to sleep!” But I wouldn’t go to sleep, in fact, I would continue talking, or rather, whispering to myself.

Source: Scientist Find Talking To Yourself Is Good

I’d speak in different accents too. I love playing around with accents; especially American accents since I’m so good at it because of TV and stuff. I suppose, that’s where I improved my English. It seems a bit ridiculous, I know, but it’s the truth!

It’s hard to tell people though. Sometimes they would ask,

“Your English is so formal when you speak, and you have an accent. Were you in private school before? Or perhaps, lived somewhere else outside of Malaysia?”

Since it would be weird to say “Oh, I learn my accent from talking to myself. You know, normal stuff!”, I would reply, “Television and movies,”

I especially like interviewing myself. I would put on different characters or just be myself and lay out some questions for me to answer. They are really random questions; questions that came from the top of my mind. My answers are really random too. Sometimes, they don’t make sense! And I like that it’s alright for me to not make sense because I get a laugh out of it.

This spontaneousness allowed me to apply it in real life especially when it comes to performing on stage (I’m a theatre performer for a local theatre house), public speaking or emceeing for events.

I used to love acting like a radio jockey. It’s fun. I would bring out my radio with an empty cassette in it to the living room and put on MTV and just record myself talking, then directing the radio to the TV for music.

“Hi guys, this is Jasmine. Do you love Madonna? I sure love her! She’s the best! Here’s a song from her.” *takes radio and put near TV speakers*

Of course, nobody listens to those recording other than myself.

Source: 47 Project

As I got older though, I found out about podcasts and did some of those, but it never lasted. Nonetheless, I had such great fun doing it though.

Me talking to myself over the years improved several things:

• My speech
• Clarity of voice
• Pronunciation
• Acting (from all the role-playing I did)
• Accent
• Confidence in public speaking and speaking in general
• Getting to know people (Q&A sessions – role-playing – helped!)

I know it’s a little insane to owe it all to talking to yourself, but it’s true! I actually did improve on these things with just talking to myself. I love it.

I still talk to myself even until today. In fact, I was talking to myself just now, before writing this post.

I read somewhere that talking to yourself is a good thing. That’s so true. I never thought of my love for talking to myself is actually me being in touch with my inner being. When I read that article, I was blown away! I owe talking to myself (whether verbally or through my thoughts) a lot because it has helped me get through some pretty tough times.

When I’m down, all I had was myself to be comforted by because nobody understood my like I do. I have friends, don’t get me wrong. I have tons of them and I love each and every one of them. But sometimes, it’s good to just get some alone time, you know. :)

So yes, that is my story.

Do you talk to yourself too? I’m sure I’m not alone!

Getting your first fuck.

“Did you pop your cherry yet?”

Okay well, technically that’s not how I get asked by people. Usually, it’s the straight-on “Have you ever fucked?” People are pretty blunt and straight forward these days. What happened to being subtle? Geez!

I got into an interesting conversation with a friend about how and where one should get their first fuck from. Okay, before I go any further, I’m going to use the term ‘First Fuck’. Let’s face it, the term ‘popping your cherry’ is cute, but we live in a world where the word fuck is highly celebrated and thus, it should be celebrated here as well. I’m sorry if you don’t find that word one bit sexy as I do.

Okay moving on.

Here’s a question.

What is the best way for one to lose their virginity?

Here are some of the ways that I thought about. Now, you may or may not agree with me, which is fine. You can give your input in the comment section, but this is my time, so let me shine! Okay, shut up Jasmine.

By the way, this is all about pre-marital sex. So if you plan to have sex after marriage (which is awesome, don’t get me wrong), then you should stop reading or you’d get tempted and I for one, do not want to be held responsible. Lol.

1. Doing it with a boyfriend/girlfriend

[Source]

This is pretty self-explanatory. You’re doing it with someone you care and who cares for you (or just care about getting into your pants?), which is great.

Doing it with an experienced boyfriend/girlfriend would mean that they can teach you a thing or two about sex. Or not. See, there are some people who like to share the knowledge and some don’t. Boo. The fact that they know what they’re doing may mean that you’d walk from an amazing first time experience or the opposite. Just don’t expect too much. Experienced people do not necessarily mean that they’re good. Just a heads up ;)

Doing it with an unexperienced boyfriend/girlfriend would probably mean that both of you can do shit wrong and it may not be as amazing as it should be. But let’s face it, the fact that both of you may not know anything is really comforting and less intimidating, so that’s pretty cool. And, both of you may also appreciate each other’s virginity more and are equally thankful (lol) for the experience.

2. Doing it with a friend

Experimenting with a friend is perhaps the most famous way of experimenting with sex and sexuality. [Source]

This idea may be pretty insane because you’re all, “My friend?”. Okay, maybe not ALL of us have that one friend who wants to desperately fuck you because they’re horny as fuck. I’m not saying that I have one. Okay, maybe I have one. I’m irresistible, what can I say? Haha.

Okay yes. If you have that one experienced friend who practically sleeps around or has an experience in the field (lol. Field?), then it’s a good thing to pop your cherry with them. First, he’s your friend so there’s no emotionally attachment there, like what you’d probably have with a boyfriend. I.e., “What if I’m not good? My boyfriend will leave me.” Basically, no complication there.

And because they’re your friend, the ideal situation here is that you guys may have a good laugh after doing it or before doing it. You can just jokingly say things like, “Don’t laugh when you see my ugly belly!” instead of being so serious and shit. AND they may give you a tip or two about sex too, which can be helpful for future reference. Get ready with your notes!

Or you can do it with a friend who’s never done it before and you guys can explore on stuff, which can be somewhat boring, but hey, it’s always fun to explore things together, especially when you guys are friends. But, I do predict an attachment if that happens. Like, what if because this is his first time and it’s apparently, mind blowingly amazing and he would want to, oh, I don’t know, have a relationship with you and you’re all, “But we’re just friends and he’s not my taste!” Vice versa.

With a friend who’s done it, you guys can just laugh it off. But I have to say that the outcome may not be like this. Ideally, it should. But it may not.

3. Doing it with a stranger

5 Best Ways to Get Rid of One Night Stands

You know the drill. One night stands, or more night stands. Up to you. You can find them anywhere. In the bar, on the Internet or the usual bus ride where you’d sit beside a hot guy and you’re all, “This guy is cute, totally brag-worthy in years to come.”

Okay, that’s plain wrong. Well, not really… Not if you’re desperate. Okay, we’ve all done it before.

But doing it with a stranger is quite both exciting and scary. One night stands aren’t always what you see in Sex and the City where the guy is always hot and it’s always okay to bring them to your home without having them to turn out to be a total psychopath.

My verdict for getting your first fuck with a stranger? Uhm, I don’t recommend it, especially for a first fuck. Personally, I hate to have the whole, “Oh, I lost my virginity to some guy in some club.”

4. Doing it with an animal

Moo?

What the fuck? Ew. No. Not that I’m judging you or anything. Wait, no. Ew. Fuck no. Do not do that!

5. Doing it with yourself or a toy

Natalie Portman’s masturbation scene in Black Swan, probably one of my favourite scenes ever because well, the mom was just beside her.

Pretty toys no? It’s so colourful.

Now this, this is good. Okay, well, technically, you’re not losing your virginity or anything, which is the main aim of this post, but it is somewhat losing your virginity. Okay, well not really. But the whole aim of sex, aside from the whole gropping, making out and stuff, is to reach orgasm and you can still get it from masturbation no? Yes, it may not be the same and yes, some people may laugh at you for opting for masturbation instead of the real thing, but really though, NO PRESSURE.

If you’re not ready to fuck, then don’t fuck.

If some of you think that, “Yes, yes I’m ready. I’ve been so horny lately and I want to fuck someone. I’m sick of holding on to this dreaded thing. I just want to get over and done with! I want to know what it feels like!” Then, by all means, go ahead. But if you do feel this way and couldn’t do it in the end, then it means that you’re not ready just yet and it’s okay.

But really though, this post is not all about ways for you to lose your virginity. Yes, it may be, but not solely on that.

The whole point of this post is to tell you that while sex and getting your first fuck may be exciting, don’t pressure yourself so much into doing it. I know a lot of nymphomaniacs and satyriasis friends who told me that deep down, despite being happy that they know about the wonders of sex, they hoped that they did with someone they like or care about; especially those who did it with someone other than the person they have feelings with.

Don’t get so wined up with the whole, “You’re 25 and you’re still a virgin????” thing. It’s bullshit. There are a lot of virgins out there but they just don’t say it out loud because it’s not ‘cool’ to be a virgin these days. You may think that EVERYBODY is doing it, but they’re not, trust meeeehhhh. Especially the ones that talk about sex or sexual stuff all the time. All those perverted, otak kuning people! You know who you are! You talk about sex so much but never actually experienced it. It’s not a sad thing really. Sex is a fun topic to talk about, but it’s not something that you’d jump into just because you like talking about it.

It’s just like how you would adore a celebrity’s face because it’s pretty or whatever. It doesn’t mean that just because you like their face, you would want to go to a plastic surgeon and actually have the celebrity’s face on you. You get me? ;)

I know I’m contradicting myself here, but that’s just it. If you want to have sex, go have sex, good for you. But if you’re not ready for sex, then you’re not ready for sex, good for you. Either way, it’s your body, take charge of it. Don’t let the media or peer pressure determine how you should use it.

Most importantly though, if you do decide to pop your cherry, be safe! Don’t believe in the whole, “I don’t have sex a lot” thing from your partner when he/she declines using condom. Remember, it only takes one person to give you STDs. Screw sensation! The last thing you want is to find out is that you only have a few years to live.

But scary thoughts aside, enjoy sex. Be safe, but enjoy it. Have fun ;)

A LITTLE NOTE FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE ‘FIELD’:

“Having sex is better and more amazing if it was imperfect. If it happened like in the movies or in porn, I’m quite sure it wouldn’t be great. Like all the actual emotions would be missing. It’s like, it matters more when like say, in the middle of doing it, something happens and both of you start giggling or something. You’ll remember it better that way than say, if it went just like in the movies.” ~ F

There you go. I guess, if you’re so into making everything perfect, you wouldn’t enjoy is as much because you’re so pressured to making it so darn perfect, and often times, it doesn’t happen that way. I suppose, there is no such thing as a perfect first time, so don’t beat yourself over it if it’s not what you’d define as ‘perfect’.

[This post was originally published on October 5, 2011]

The art of being different

You know what I want to be?

I want to be those deep people whom you see in movies with their notepad and pen, sitting somewhere, just observing and drawing people or places. They seem so mysterious and intellectual, as if they know something about the world and we don’t. They are hard to figure out which either makes them an interesting person to be around with or an annoying one; the kind that would make you fucking frustrated.

I met someone who’s like that before. He used to be such an interesting person to talk to and he frustrates the shit out of me because he just makes everything hard. Every little detail about someone, about their movements and actions, he would make such a big deal about it and that’s frustrating. What’s worse is that he constantly criticize people for everything and he looks at himself as being the perfect being of some sort. But of course, that is never true.

Complicated Mind by Eugeniaervi

He is flawed.

But after a while, things with him became so easy. He was not as trivial and mysterious any more because well, I finally figured him out. He finds it rather annoying at first but proceeded to be in awe with my ability to finally ‘figure him out’. He finds that incredibly astonishing.

And then slowly, he finds me rather boring to entertain. As do I with him. And we just slowly… drift a part. There’s no spark between us any more. No drama, no mystery. Everything just became… normal. I’m still figuring out whether I have figured him out or whether he just stopped being himself. Maybe he grew out of it? Maybe things just became to fucking complicated and he’s sick of it? Or maybe, it was because of the earlier thought of mine; that I simply have just figured him out.

Nonetheless, this does not stop me from wanting to be that mysterious person though. It’s interesting. It allows you to see people from a different perspective. A twisted one, but one nonetheless. I guess what’s interesting is that you get to be the odd one out, someone who goes against the flow and you just observe how people break down because of that.

When someone cannot figure out someone else, it’s either they keep trying or quit; either they treat you badly or treat you good. I mean, it’s interesting how so easy people get upset over things that, often time, is not important and that is what I learn from him or rather, what I learn from interacting with him all this time.

I wish I could be deep and emotionless; not bothered by what people do or think of me. I’d just look at them, smile and move on.

But then again, that’s just me, you know.

Stop caring!

When I was younger, I remember being so into reading magazine articles that have headlines such as ‘What Men Want In Women‘ or ‘Are you his ideal woman?‘. Or one of those, ‘50 Romantic Things To Do With Your Man‘ things.

And more!

• How to make him like you. (Proven facts!)
• Make him wild in bed!
• How to be incredibly successful without doing anything!
• How to be awake and continue being awake at work.
• 5 Ways to not fart in public
• How to save yourself by not saving yourself but still want to save yourself! (So true!)

I might have gotten a bit excited with these lists. But you catch my drift. It’s ridiculous!

When I was a teenager (which was not THAT long ago! Lol!), I literally have a whole folder of cut-outs from magazine pages and printed articles of these things, nicely arranged with pictures of happy couples and super hot hunks. I kid you not! In fact, I still have it and would gladly (though, shamefully) snap a picture of it if I didn’t tug it nicely in my cupboard back in KK which I have mentally labelled it as my teenage life pile.

To make things worst, I even own a list of traits that make out my ideal guy, written by my 14-year-old self! Fourteen! Can you believe that???!!

Oh the hormones and the crazy amount of chick flicks!

I think I can remember some of the things I wrote in that list!

• Taller than me
• Really sweet
• Romantic
• Cute
• A gentleman
• Charming
• Ambitious
• Loves me for me

And the list goes on. It’s ridiculous. It’s most ridiculous especially when there is no such thing as a PERFECT or IDEAL person. At least, 100%.

Growing up though, I did come to a realization that these lists of traits and what makes a perfect moment etcetera not real. I mean, they are applicable to SOME people, but seeing that there are a billion people in the world and we are all individuals, it’s quite obvious that this list does not represent EVERYONE, it merely represents some of us of which this list (which I am certain was from a survey of some sort) was directed to.

Do I make sense? Meh.

I mean, I’m sure there are lists talking about the ideal woman being a total Barbie; tall, slim, blonde etc… but seeing as that I have neither these traits but am instead someone who is off average height, plus size, jet black hair with hints of brown and yet, have acquired an interest from one or two fine guys out there, I did realized that this list is incorrect or rather, not quite applicable to some people.

And that makes me feel happy quite frankly.

There is also this ‘rule’ I read where girls should always play hard to get and not be the first one to make a move. That’s not true. So what then? Girls should instead wait for the guy to approach her and while doing so, wonder ever so crazily about when he would do that only to find out that he will never approach her? While, mind you, rejecting every single guy who is interest in her just because he was waiting for that one guy to approach her? Whoa!

You shouldn’t do that!

If you find someone interesting, approach the guy, talk to him and see if your time with him is worthwhile and whether anything would happen with him. If not, move on. You waste less time wondering and more time getting to know more guys.

But then again, I do acknowledge that not everyone can do this; whether you are a woman or man. It’s hard. I find it hard as well. In theory, it’s an easy and fair thing to consider, but in practise, it can be quite challenging. In other worse, it’s easier said than done.

Okay, I’m going off topic.

The ideal woman = You. Always.

I guess what I’m saying is that these lists that magazines have, well, they’re not all real. They’re good for reference purposes but they are not to be taken so seriously on. If you have an urge to approach a guy but feel obliged to stay to the rule of thou shouldn’t approach a man first for thou is a woman, then I suggest that you ignore that list and carry on with what your heart desires!

I’ve seen a lot of my girl friends wanting ever so desperately to get to know a guy but decided that they should wait for the guy to approach them instead only to find out that he’s not the guy for her. OR those women who try so hard to be the perfect girl only to find out that guys dig girls who are completely the opposite of her.

You get me?

So be wild and free!

I think the only thing that is correct in these lists is the part where it says that confidence is sexy. That is unquestionably true. ;)

Speaking about list, here’s an AWESOME list that I definitely think you should read because I approve of it. :P

‘Ten Ways To Get A Guy To Chase After You‘

The age obsession.

I used to be so obsessed with age. If you’re younger than me, I’ll treat you a certain way; I’ll act more mature and poised, more ‘adult’-like, if you like. If you’re older than me, I’ll act as matured as possible to let you know that I am worth talking to, that just because I am younger, doesn’t mean I can’t play with the big boys/girls.

But as you grow older however, you tend to realize that maturity (or immaturity) does not tie itself with age. No, no. In fact, the term ‘age is just a number‘ has never been any truer, especially in this context.

See, after a while, you tend to realize that you are not confined to your same-age domain any more, just like how you were confined in primary school and high school. Back in school, your classmates are the same age as you, so you sort of allowed yourself to be wild around them but act a certain way in the presence of those younger or older than you.

But when you reach university or work however, this ‘confinement’ is broken and you are forced to roam around the world, mixing yourself with people who might just be 2 or 3 years apart from you, or 50 years apart. Not only that, but your sense of judgement towards age and personality might jumble up as well.

The young may be the most experienced and matured, while the old may very well be the opposite.

It took me a while to ‘open up’ myself to this idea, but once I did that, I realized that age does not matter any more. Once our personalities match, everything else just falls into place. This I mean, is when it comes to building friendships. I do occasionally catch myself putting a certain barrier with someone younger than me though, but I would quickly forget about it and act normal.

Same goes to immature older people too. I mean, if you act silly and funny, it’s fine; we all have the kid in us. But when you act like a total ass and bullshit your way through things; acting like a total child, then my respect for you will dry up pretty fast. Faster than fast.

What bugs me the most are those people who think that age is EVERYTHING. I have a friend who’s older than me by a year or two and she constantly brings up her age when it comes to making decisions or criticizing my friends’ (including myself) behaviour.

“We should do this. I should know, I’m more experienced since I’m older.”

“I’m older, so I get to choose.”

“Kids these days… Tsk tsk…”

“I guess I’m the only adult here!”

“Oh please. You’re younger, you don’t know anything.”

ANNOYING!

And then there’s that younger person who values someone older’s opinion just because they are older and it will be best of us ‘young people’ to listen to him/her. It’s good to a certain extent because it shows respect, but it’s annoying if you overdo it, you know?

“I don’t care what you tell me. I’m going to listen to my boyfriend. He’s older.”

“Jasmine, you make the decision for the group, we can’t be bothered since we’re too tired. And besides, YOU’RE the older one.” (because everyone is so lazy to do their part of the job)

Come on! That’s just ridiculous!

Seriously, if we get sooooo age-concerned, the world will fall a part! Nobody wants to work with someone younger because they are inexperienced, therefore, useless. Nobody would want to work with someone older because they (the younger ones) would always be looked down upon because of their age.

How is this not fucked up?

Just because I’m younger, doesn’t mean I’ve never been through things and just because you’re older, doesn’t mean you’re fucking mature. For all I know, my 12-year old cousin may be more matured and considerate than your 30-year old ass!

Just sayin’.

Chatting with an older man (or men): Part 2

Note: I know a lot of people got so annoyed when I had to cut short Part 1 because I thought it was tooo long! My friends came up to me and was all, “I was reading and when I saw ‘to be continued’, I was so angry! Tell me what happens next!!” LOL. You have no idea how flattered I feel. Thank you so much!!! 

Well, here is part two! Thank you for being patient with me! =)

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Continued from part one.

MEETING ZAIN AND SAM

When I turned 18, I asked my aunt if I could follow her to KL and for her to get my a flight ticket, as a birthday present. I told her that I was officially legal and that’s such a big age for me, so she agreed to it. My parents didn’t see any wrong in that, so they let me go.

I was to stay with my aunt in her hotel and I could meet friends when she goes out for her convention – work related stuff.

I was thrilled! I called two friends of mine (whom I know and met before) who were living in KL for a meet up and I too called Zain and Sam and told them about it. They were excited to meet me and I in turn, was super excited to meet them!

It was a perfect plan!

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MEETING ZAIN

The day of the meet up with Zain, I got myself a nice dress. It was black and a tad bit neck plunging, but I love it! I decided that I could wear that dress for my meeting with Zain. I wanted to impress him, and that was that.

When I met him, I thought he was absolutely gorgeous. He has a goatee and he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. We went to a bar outside of KL, but we found out that it was closed for a private event, so we went to a Coffee Bean instead. We didn’t really talk much. I was mostly looking at him smoking away.

He didn’t seem interested in talking to me, or looking at me and I was really uncomfortable with my dress. I kept on covering my chest with my hair. On our way back to the hotel, we went for a drive and stopped by in this fairly empty Shell station which was opposite a row of empty houses. It kind of freaked me out a bit.

Then we headed to a McDonalds near my hotel. I figured, this was my last attempt to impress him with my personality. I engaged in a conversation with him; asked him questions and what not. He responded, but not good enough. I gave up and stopped trying.

He sent me back to the hotel, I gave him a hug and that was that.

I felt rejected and disappointed. I felt that my presentation of myself was not good enough in his eyes. He didn’t engage in my every attempt to impress me. I felt ugly and that was not a good feeling :(

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MEETING SAM

The next night, I was scheduled to meet Sam. I wasn’t too keen on meeting him after what happened with Zain the night before, but I had no choice. And anyway, it was too last minute to cancel anyway.

We were supposed to meet at 8pm but it was slowly pushed back to 9pm, and finally, 10pm. By that time, I was completely turned off. He was busy, he told me. I couldn’t be bothered.

While on my way to the lobby, my heart raced. What if he hates me too? What if he finds me absolutely ugly, just like Zain? Before even meeting the guy, I already expected his reaction. What’s wrong with me????

When I reached the lobby, I saw him standing there, looking out to the street. He didn’t see me just yet. I was incredibly nervous by that time.

I called out to him and he turned, and there he was, in his working outfit, tired-looking and breathless. He smiled when he looked at me and proceeded to give me a big hug. I felt awkward hugging him. Probably because despite knowing him all these years, I was not really ready for a physical contact just yet, not when I have yet to have a real one-on-one conversation with him.

He brought me to his car and we went to the KLCC park with our McD drive-thru meals. It wasn’t the ideal first meeting I was hoping for, but I wasn’t complaining. I liked the park and the lights from the lake, fountain and towers looked incredibly calming and beautiful!

Brightly-lit park over-looking the fountain facing KLCC (hidden)

We sat on a bench overlooking the lake and the twin towers. It was supposed to be a romantic sight, but I didn’t want it to be. He wasn’t my type, at least, when it comes to all these romantic sparks and stuff. He was looking at me, gazing and smiling. I didn’t like it and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

I wanted him to stop.

We had occasional awkward silence here and there, but he seemed at ease with it, where as I did not.

I broke the silence by talking about everything that I had in my mind. I didn’t care if it didn’t make sense, I just wanted him to talk and not look at me that way.

After our park night-out, we decided to head back.

While in the car, I started coughing. I was sick when I came to KL, so that explains the cough. When I coughed, he became worried and asked me if I was okay. I said I was a little sick and might have a slight fever. Without warning, he reached out his hand to touch my forehead, cheeks, neck and chest, almost nearing my cleavage. I was shocked; too shocked to move.

He seemed pretty oblivious to what he just did, but to me, it seemed like I was semi-taken advantage on. I know I was over exaggerating when I thought about this because he was genuinely concerned when I told him I was sick, but that time, it felt like I was [taken advantage on]. All of the sudden I became afraid and questions start going through my mind.

“Why am I here, in his car?”

“Where am I exactly? I don’t know this area and it’s dark.”

“What is he going to do to me?”

“This was all a mistake! What if he does something to me??? I’m 18 and he’s fucking 30!”

While lost in my thoughts, all of the sudden, he asked me if he could have a drag beside the road because he really felt like it. I asked him if he could have it after sending me back, but he objected, saying that he didn’t have one the whole day and desperately needed one. I tried to persuade him, but he wasn’t listening.

Empty street

I was scared. So scared.

I waited in the car while he was having his smoke. We talked about some stuff; his work and my recent SPM. I kept cool most of the time but deep inside, I was fucking terrified. He kept telling me how unbelievably beautiful I was and how he couldn’t believe that I was standing right in front of him!

I was too scared and worried to feel flattered. Frankly, I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was to go back to my aunt at the hotel. By that time, I felt stupid for not telling my aunt exactly who I’m with and that this friend, is a stranger I knew from the Internet.

After he finished smoking, he drove me back to the hotel. The moment he stopped his car at the entrance, I quickly said my goodbyes, went out from his car and walked away.

“Jasmine!” he called out.

I stopped and turned around. He had his hands open, indicating for a hug. I shrugged and went up to him and hugged him. I said goodbye, smiled and walked away.

When I walked off, I turned around for the last time for a quick wave and I saw that he was just looking at me. Hoping that I’ll say or do something to him. I didn’t.

All I had in my mind was to go to my room. As fast as I can, as cool as I can. I didn’t want to run to the elevator because that would just be weird, although I desperately wanted to do that. When waiting for the elevator, I could see that he was still standing outside. I was praying for the elevator to come fast so that he wouldn’t be able to change his mind and come up with me to my room. That would be scary.

Finally, the elevator came and I was saved.

Back in the room, I got a text from him.

“You looked beautiful tonight. Thank you for going out with me. I wanted to give you a kiss just now, but I was too shy to do so. I couldn’t help it. You were too beautiful. I feel so lucky.”

I cringed and replied his text, “LOL. Thank you so much for tonight. I’ll see you around.”

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AFTER KL

When I went back to KK, I still kept in touch with both Zain and Sam. I stopped talking to Sam after a while though. He didn’t text or call me any more and neither did I to him. Zain and I talked for a few more months and even added each other on Facebook. We managed to meet each other in 2010, but after that, he just stopped talking to me.

I found out through his Facebook that he was in a relationship. After tons of unreplied texts, IMs and phone calls, I decided to delete him from my life. I deleted his cell number, unfriended him on Facebook and deleted him from my YM. I never talked to him again after that.

I was heartbroken for awhile, but it didn’t take my long to be over the guy.

I got a big surprise though early this year when he sent me an IM. “Hi,” he said. I just stared at his IM and thinking to myself, “Hmm.. This guy is still alive.” Mean, I know. But I couldn’t help myself!

I didn’t reply to his IM obviously. Why should I? I didn’t like knowing that he could just delete me off from his life any time of the day, then suddenly decided to just say hi to me whenever he wants to. The nerve!

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THE LINK BETWEEN ‘TRUST’ AND MY TEENAGE LIFE

Like I said in part 1 of this super long post, I feel an instant connection with the main character, 14-year old Annie.

I know and understand what she had been through because I personally had been through it too. I know how it feels to be appreciated and feel beautiful thanks to these older men who seemed to be so able to get any girls (of their own age) they want, but instead, they chose me, some 16 year old. Can you imagine how flattering that is?

You would understand how saddening and traumatizing it is to have the guy to not call you or treat you the way you want him to treat you. With him doing this, you would instantly believe that it was you who made him not want to talk to you again, probably because you are not pretty enough for him or mature enough.

I was traumatized when Zain didn’t pay much attention to me, as if I had disappointed him because I wasn’t pretty enough. I was more traumatized when he didn’t call me after that; for more than a week.

Annie breaking down after a realization that she has been raped.

All I had in my head was, “I’m ugly. He doesn’t like me because I’m ugly.” I was so depressed and sad.

With Sam however, it was more to me potentially being done harm for following him in the car. He was 30 and I was 18. I didn’t know the area well and the roads we took were mostly dark, so just imagine all the bad things he could and would have done to me.

I was lucky that he was ‘shy’ or afraid to do things to me; ie, kissing me, just like he said in his text. If he was brave (and dumb) enough to pull that move in front of the hotel, I would slap him. But if he did do it while we were still in the car, after he touched me to feel whether I have a fever or not, slapping him would only anger him and would put me in such dangerous position.

I know what you’re thinking; why follow him (and Zain) in their car when I barely know them? Easy, it’s because I knew them enough to follow them in the car. Though of course, at that time, I thought it was enough, but obviously not. But anyway, I felt safe enough to go out with them. Besides, we were meeting in an open space anyway.

Thinking back though, that was obviously not enough because I was still following them in their car, so whether we hang in an open space or not, it didn’t really matter because they can still bring me somewhere and do stuff to me.

Luckily they didn’t. LUCKILY. Most girls wouldn’t have been so lucky. Actually, a lot of girls wouldn’t have been so lucky.

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NOW

So yes, that was my story. I keep telling my younger cousins and friends to always be careful when they are talking to people online and especially, when they plan to meet these people. It’s dangerous. Very dangerous.

I get worried all the time too because I know how these things work having been through them personally. And now, with the availability of Omegle, my cousins – girls – who are as young as 11 years old are already chatting on it and telling people that they are 14, talking to people who are in their 20′s, 30′s or worse. And these people, they keep talking to my cousins because a) they thought that my cousins are lying about their age – thinking that they are older or b) they like younger kids – paedophiles?

It’s disturbing.

So, keep safe. Always.

If you get to know someone on Facebook or dating sites and if you’re planning to meet them, remember, meet in a public place and don’t follow their cars or go to their house/hotel. Well, you’re all grown ups, you know how this goes.

x

Chatting with an older man (or men): Part 1

Note: Upon reading this post, you would find that the men written here are in their late 20′s. And although they may not be THAT old (40-60 year old old), for a 16 year old, that is old, or at least, oldER. Just wanted to give you a little heads up!

Guy: ASL?
Girl: 14, f, malaysia. u?
Guy: 30, m, USA. i hope that’s not too old for you.
Girl: oh, uhm. it’s fine i guess. whats ur name?
Guy: Tom. you?
Girl: Jasmine
Guy: pretty name! i think i like you already ;)
Girl: thanks :)

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I started going on the Internet when I was 10. I started my first chat on ICQ when I was 11. My first engagement with porn was when I was 12. I knew what it was, porn, but I didn’t understand the significance behind it. Why do people like to see naked pictures of people?

I clicked pop outs after pop outs. Months later, the computer had to be repaired.

“Did you go on any sites? They said they found virus in the computer.” Mom looked at me, serious.
“No.” I lied.
“Are you sure?“
“Yes.“

———————————————————————————————————————-

I remembered my first time being asked the question. I remember it quite clearly. I was in my mother’s room, where the computer was. I was using my months old ICQ account and I was talking to this guy.

I was 13.

Guy: what r u wearing now?
Girl: shorts, shirt.. u?
Guy: just my boxers.
Guy: what color?
Girl: white shirt, black pants i guess..
Guy: mmmm…

Guy writing…

Guy deletes message. Guy writing…

Guy: I bet u look sexy in those shorts. mmmmmm… I can imagine you in it. so sexxxxyyyy…!

I felt a bit creeped out. Or, maybe, flattered. I don’t know. It was the first time a guy has ever complimented me. I was into the fact that he complimented me without even seeing how I look like! It was interesting.

I felt… beautiful.

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ZAIN

When I was 16, I got to know this guy from Hi5.com. We’ve talked for about a year now and because I didn’t really get on to the site much, we didn’t really get to talk much; probably, once or twice every two to three months or so. I don’t know.

Then one day, he asked for me phone number. I gave him.

On a Sunday morning while watching TV, I got a phone call. Private number.

Me: Hello?
Voice: Hi, is this Jasmine?
Me: Uhm. Yeah. Who’s this?
Voice: It’s Zain. How are you?
Me: Oh… Hi… I’m… Uhm.. Good. You?
Voice: I’m great.

He has called almost everyday for the past 2 years after that. He would call me before bed, before dinner, after dinner, in the morning, afternoon, while he was going to work…

I liked talking to him. I was probably interested in his voice. I thought he sounded sexy and I liked talking to him in a KL Malay slang. I enjoyed practising the accent.

I felt special… You know… When I talked to him.

We never really shared things about ourselves. Well, we did share about our everyday lives and what not, but we never connected on a deeper level. I felt like we were an old married couple, talking about meaningless things but making an effort to make it very exciting and interesting.

We called each other ‘sayang‘ which means ‘dear’ in Malay. I liked calling him that.

I felt mature talking to him, like an adult. He treats me like one too. We didn’t talk about sexual things. Never.

I was 16 when I first talked to him. He was 27.

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SAMUEL

On the same year I knew Zain, I got to know Sam.

I could not remember exactly where I knew him from. We had a pretty insignificant beginning which probably contributed to my complete memory lost of our meeting.

But I did know one thing, we met on the Internet.

Just like Zain, it started out with an innocent chat on MSN which then escalated to phone calls. He usually calls at night, when he gets back from work. He would rant about his day, and I would listen and give appropriate feedback when needed.

We spoke English but it felt a little different. I guess it was because he was from KL and they speak differently there; slangs I could not understand. Or perhaps, it was our age gap. I was still in high school and he already graduated university, worked for 2 years in his first job and 3 years in the current one.

In one year plus into our friendship, we started calling each other by pet names. He calls me ‘sweetie’. I can’t remember what I called him. I don’t think I even have a name for him.

He leaves me texts in the morning telling me to have a good day and that he will miss me and that he can’t wait to talk to me at night. He would also remind me each day that I am beautiful which made me feel amazing. It was always a great start to my day when he does that.

One night while I was on the phone with him, I asked him the big question.

Me: Why do you talk to me? I’m just a kid.

Him: You’re not just a kid, you’re more than that. I like talking to you, you’re more fun than anyone I know.

Me: How about women your age?

Him: Ahh.. They’re boring! All they talk about is how sucky their work is and how horrible their life is. I’m sick of them. I’m bored with them.

Me: So, why talk to me? All I talk about is school. So boring!

Him: Well, like I said, I like talking to you. You make me forget about my life; work etc.. And besides, you’re gorgeous, they’re not!

I was 16 when I first talked to him. He was 28.

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TRUST (Film)

'Trust' - Film poster

When I watched ‘Trust‘ just now, I felt so connected to the 14-year old character, Annie. I knew what she felt because I understood it; because I’ve been through it. I knew how it feels like to be so emotionally drawn to someone whom you met over the Internet and whom you have talked to since forever, every single day.

Despite knowing that the guy is older than her, it didn’t matter because he treated her like an adult, despite the 20-years age gap. She doesn’t feel like a kid around him because he doesn’t treat her like one. He treats her like she is the most beautiful woman in the world and that feels good, especially for someone who has never had a guy looking at her.

Age is just a number.

Can you imagine how much of an ego boost it is to be treated as someone so special when they are hundreds of women his age out there just waiting on him, but yet, he picked you, a teenager from some high school who is incredibly insignificant and invisible to everybody?

This film allows you to understand why some teenagers did what they did. They were, what you would call, brainwashed, yes. But there is more than just being ‘brainwashed’, more to that and this film explores that.

Watch the full movie here.

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MEETING ZAIN AND SAM

When I turned 18, I asked my aunt if I could follow her to KL and for her to get my a flight ticket, as a birthday present. I told her that I was officially legal and that’s such a big age for me, so she agreed to it. My parents didn’t see any wrong in that, so they let me go.

I was to stay with my aunt in her hotel and I could meet friends when she goes out for her convention – work related stuff.

I was thrilled! I called my two friends of mine (whom I know and met before) who were living in KL for a meet up and I too called Zain and Sam and told them about it. They were excited to meet me and I was super excited to meet them!

It was a perfect plan!

To be continued…

For Part 2, click here!

5 Friends Every Woman Should Have

Found this interesting article on Oprah.com. Yes, I apparently do go to Oprah’s website for occasional lift ups. Okay, maybe not. I pretty much decided to browse around and found this article. See if you can match the type of friend to your own friends!

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5 Friends Every Woman Should Have

“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves,” writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the “family” I’ve gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I’ve made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

1. The Uplifter
This woman’s favorite word: yes. You could tell her you’re trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she’d barely pause before yelping “Go for it!” Don’t you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

Rachel is my angel. She not only looks past my love handles, but embraces it by saying how beautiful it is while poking it. Haha! (: 6 years of friendship and going stronger each day!

2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it’s enough that she’s comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

Who better to be your travel buddy than your own sister! We never traveled anywhere much aside from Vietnam, but that trip alone proved that she is the best travel buddy a girl can have. LOVE!

3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you’ve established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you’d be smart to seek out this woman’s perspective.

Hazli is the type of person who will lay down the facts and figures, tell you your lost and benefits and make you realize things that nobody can. He may not be woman as suggested in the description, but he is MY woman! Haha! 5 years of friendship and counting!

4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we’re both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

Never a dull moment with these two around, that’s for sure! Spontaneous and fun! AND INSANE! They can make any dull object or situation seem like the most spectacular thing ever! A piece of paper you say? BRING IT ON! Hahaha!

5. The Unlikely Friend
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive,” Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

Never in my life have I ever imagined of having the wonderful opportunity of getting to know two of the most awesome people in the whole wide world! WC, a fun yet feisty girl from Perak with the world on her hands and Tara, a girl with so much passion for life from Tanzania. They make my life extra exciting during boring days in school and I’m thankful for that (:
I love you two!

Okay, so that’s all from me! I tag you!

(I wasn’t planning of tagging people at first, but I had so much fun doing it, so I think that you would like to do it too!)

Big girls: “We’re not desperate.”

I was watching Glee just now (especially this performance) and I am soooooo inspired to write this post.

So here’s the thing, big girls are not desperate. Some of us aren’t. In fact, we’re happy to be all single and ready to mingle and shit.

So an interesting story. My friend who’s big and curvaceous find it rather surprising that whenever she goes out clubbing with all of her gorgeous slim friends, she’ll be the one who’d be having shitloads of guys tapping her ass, grinding on her and asking her for a shag.

It’s surprising even to know that her girlfriends don’t get shit like that when they go out.

Here’s the equation.

Curves + BBW = Shag
Slim/Slender + Pretty = Trophy

Of course though, this equation does not apply to EVERYBODY. Don’t get me wrong, but it’s pretty general.

Curvy girls are fun to shag with while pretty slim girls make great girlfriends because they’re nice to show off to. Trust me, I think these two ‘ideologies’ are as disrespectful to women as the next disrespectful ideology, but I can’t help to think that there might be some sense in it.

Here’s the fucked up thing. A guy actually told me that big girls are fun to shag with because guys have something to hold on to and to play around with. We have boobs and ass and we’re hot as hell when shagged. Quote and unquote. Very disgusting, but okay.

Deny if you must, but you can’t help but think that curves are more sexier.

Though some of us don’t get boyfriends, we do find it amazingly fun to just go around and teasing boys (or not tease boys and have boys come rubbing in on us when we lease expect it). I mean, not everybody (girls in general, not just the big girls) have the courage or confidence to tease or flirt with a boy, but when you do and boys respond to it, it feels soooo good!

It’s funny. Just when you think you don’t have any chance to appear sexy because of how big you are, you turn to a guy, look at them directly in the eye, bit your lips a little bit, do a little smirk and they’re all yours. The world is officially fucked up and I shall embrace it the fuckery.

Who says big girls don’t have it in them?

I believe that sexual urges and flirtation and a sprinkle of tease can make any guy be at the edge of their seat, regardless of who the flirt/tease came from. It’s all in the confidence mixture. Face it, confidence is sexy.

And who ever said that us big girls are desperate? We may not get all the boys all the time, but it doesn’t mean that you can just grab our boobs and show your pretty penis and we’d be embracing it just like that. Seriously? How shallow can you be?

Let me remind you that although we may not get much action, it doesn’t mean that we’re total sluts to just give ourselves to you.

Which reminds me. A guy came up to me, pretty much woe me and shit and wanted to pop my cherry. Seriously? I ain’t lettin’ no a-hole popping any cherries of mine just because I is big and assumed to be ‘desperate’. Sheesh.

It’s cute and all, but really, are you REALLY that desperate?