Being an avid Internet surfer (lol at ‘surfer’), I tend to stumble on information easily.

For example.

When I went to Gmail.com today, I saw a tiny link down at the bottom of the page talking about The Google Science Fair; a contest especially for those aged 13-18. I was curious about the contest, so I went to find out more about it by going to their 2011 summary where I found out about the three winners of the contest and their research.

Winners (from left to right): Lauren Hodge, Shree Bose, Naomi Shah. Photo by Andrew Federman.

I found out too that they gave a speech on TEDxWomen about their research. How awesome was that? These girls, regardless of young they are, are such great inspiration for other girls out there, including myself. Shree Bose, the grand prize winner was even featured on Glamour’s 21 Amazing Young Women of 2011 list!

I love reading about successful women and stumbling on a list of successful women brought such a great inspiration for me, and these women are my age! It was great to know about all these young women’s achievements; whether in terms of sports, being the youngest person to spot a new supernova, heading their own organization or raising an awareness on a particular cause/issue.

Natalie Warne

I went back to the TEDx video again and saw a link to another video by this girl, Natalie Warne who spoke in last year’s TEDxTeen. She talked about how it doesn’t matter how young you are, anyone can make a difference. By the amount of incredible young people with their achievements that I had accidentally stumbled on, I have to agree with what she said :)

She too talked about her involvement with an organization called Invisible Children; an organization involved in raising awareness about the civil war in Uganda between a rebel group called the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and the Government of Uganda. What’s sad about this war is that the leader of the LRA, Joseph Kony actually abducted children to be part of his army; be child soldiers, while killing and raping villagers as they did that. (Read more about the civil war in Uganda here.)

http://invisiblechildren.com

I got really interested with Invisible Children and the cause that they are fighting for that I started going through their website and find more about the organization. I stumbled on a video about one of the movement that happened in 2009 called The Rescue where they had thousands of people in different parts of the world simultaneously live on the street (mimicking the lives of children in Uganda who ran away to the city fearing that they would be abducted by the LRA), until they had someone influential (a congressman, senator, mayor or celebrity) to ‘rescue’ them.

You can watch their documentary on that international movement here and together share their excitement, joy, frustration and disappointment.

I also stumbled on another documentary of theirs called Tony: The Documentary as I was browsing around their website. I’m still waiting for it to load fully but so far, after 30 minutes or so of watching it, it really made me understand why the founders did what they did; creating Invisible Children and really going all full force with it.

Invisible Children’s mission this year is to further spread the awareness on the LRA and the child soldiers as well making Joseph Kony famous and basically, have the world turn their heads on the issue in Uganda, hence the commencement of Kony 2012; a series of documentary screenings all around the world.

Watch this video to know more about Kony 2012 and how to book a screening.

So yup! That’s what you get from surfing around the Internet! Hope you guys learn something new, I know I did!

Watch the videos if you have time, trust me, they are REALLY inspiring. :)

“Are you Malay, Chinese or Indian?”

When I first moved to Selangor (or rather, Peninsular Malaysia), I often get shallow questions like this from taxi drivers, shop owners, acquaintances or just random people in general who took a long look at my face and skin and proceeded to ask such ridiculous question.

New in town, I would usually tell the truth; “I’m a Kadazan.” which some of them (not all, but some ignorant ones) confidently continued with a “Ahhh! Orang Sarawak rupanya!“ (Translation: Ahh! A Sarawakian!)

Fail. Total fail.

I hate being asked this question. I know that they are just curious, but often times, I feel that they just want to figure me out but couldn’t, so they would ask me if I was either Malay, Chinese or Indian just so that they could perhaps, ‘handle’ me according to my race? 

Just an assumption, but a very strong one considering how I was treated on days when I decide to be Malay, Chinese or Indian. (Yes, after awhile, I toy around with this question to which the reply I often get is, “Wah! Indian! Very fair ah your skin!“)

Hmmmmm….

Fellow cab drivers, please take note! In times of utter curiousity, please follow what many cab drivers (especially in my dear old Kota Kinabalu) do. Instead of asking what race your passenger is by shamelessly limiting to only the three races, you might want to ask where we’re from instead. Just a thought.

See, in Malaysia, none of us are exactly Malay, Chinese or Indian because we’re all (like 90% of us) mixed of something. But unfortunately, none of that matters because everyone wants to put us in a box closely related to the three (supposedly) main races here.

It’s like they’re scared or something when they can’t figure out what you are. If you did tell them what you are according to what ethnicity you associate yourself with and if they don’t approve of it, they’ll totally ignore you and remind you again the ‘actual’ ethnicity that you’re in.

Like what my cousin faced today. (You know who you are!)

Idiot: “Excuse me, you ni Melayu atau Cina?” (Excuse me, are you Malay or Chinese?)

Her: “Campur Cina. Bukan Melayu, tapi Kadazan.” (I’m mixed Chinese. I’m not Malay but Kadazan.)

Long pause.

Idiot: “Apa agama you?” (What is your religion?)

Her: “Muslim.”

Idiot: “Laaaa… Cakap la yang you ni Melayu!” (You should have just said that you’re Malay!)

Her: *smiles* “Kalau orang putih Islam, jadi dia Melayu lah?” (If a Caucasian/non-Malaysian is Muslim, so he is Malay then?) *walks away*

Smart move cousin! Smart move!

More than 3 races in Malaysia! No way!

I don’t understand it sometimes.

If Sabah and Sarawak are the only states in Malaysia that has non-Malay, Chinese and Indian people roaming around and if Peninsular Malaysia only have Malay, Chinese and Indian roaming around, then I would understand how some people from Peninsular Malaysia would only limit their list of races to only the three races in whole of Malaysia (because we’re pretty disconnected like that). But Peninsular Malaysia is super rich with so many mixed-raced people! Some of which, I have never heard about or have only heard stories of!!

Like Swedish-Indian or Hawaiian-Chinese! How exotic!

But here in Malaysia, if you tell (ignorant) people that you are Swedish-Indian, their response will be, “Oh! Indian la!!!!“

Pffffttttttttt!!!!!!!

To all the mixed babies out there, consider yourself lain-lain (others) when anyone ask you what you are.

(P.S.: I am not here to talk bad about my country, Malaysia. I love Malaysia. It is home; my home. I am just here to correct mistakes made by SOME of my fellow ignorant Malaysians.)

What I think I was thinking about but am not entirely sure.

1. Begin a post with the sentence; “I had your life once. It was all too familiar while going through your pictures…”

2. Write a birthday wish list on every where deemed reachable by the world; Facebook, blog, link blog to Twitter or any where.

3. Update S’s new phone number. (Thank you thieve who stole her phone.)

4. Feel absolutely depressed that I lost a friend. Not die lost, just lost. He’s gone and there’s nothing I can do about it.

5. Mourn at the fact that Sex and the City is going to end for me soon. A few more episodes and one season to go before I end my escapade with this incredible show!

6. My kind of guy would not mind playing geographical games with me; where’s that country, continents, country flags, country capitals etc.. etc…

7. And I just lost another thought thank you to being distracted yet again.

Obviously, the other 5 were thought about when I wrote this. That should happen to me all the time; writing down things as the moment I think about them. That would be handy.

Oh, and I did this just now. I was thinking about doing it in the morning but didn’t really put my mind into it until just now. I think it’s pretty funny.

Have a nice Monday everybody!

My addiction is pretty common for a lot of people. Maybe, probably. I don’t know. Don’t laugh, it’s something serious. Well at least, serious to me.

I have this thing where when I go out, I always imagine myself bumping in to somebody; an ex-boyfriend, an ex-class/schoolmate, a soon to be boyfriend perhaps? Perhaps.

I went to the book store yesterday (and today) thinking about bumping into people but obviously, that never happened. I think about bumping into a guy who would probably be a future boyfriend or husband? I don’t know. Just bumping into people in general.

I hate surprises, especially when it comes to actually bumping into people when I least expected it.

The other day I bumped into an ex-boyfriend when I was busy browsing though a row of jeans. It was awkward. I was awkward. I didn’t know what to say. What do you say exactly?

See, when I expect myself to bump into somebody, I think about what to say. “Oh, hi!”, “Yes, I go here all the time. Well, not really. I just like to say that so that I would seem like an interesting person to you.”

You know, something witty like that.

But when I bump into someone without me actually wanting to bump in to someone – without reasons I could not tell you (well, okay. Maybe because I look crappy or something) – I don’t know what to say and things just get… awkward. That’s another thing about me, I hate being in awkward situation. Well, no one else does.

Why is that when I look fairly decent, I don’t bump into people? Why is it that when I look the most crappiest, people just decide to cross paths with me and they just look so fucking good, all the damn time!

What is this? SERIOUSLY.

But what happens when your partner (or yourself) cheats and destroying this oath that you have with each other? Worse, what happens if they do not acknowledge that they are cheating and laugh at you for being too possessive of them or being too paranoid?

They say different genders look at cheating differently. If this is the case, then what constitutes cheating? Is sex it? Or is being emotionally involved with someone other than your partner screams cheating? What?

“Cheating is the violation of exclusivity, physical and emotional that binds those in a committed relationship.” [Source]

Thus means that, cheating is more than just engaging in sexual act. Cheating occur when “one shares intimacy with the non-partner and violates the quality of exclusivity”.

I don’t want to generalize, but I do feel that men and women have different ideas when it comes what is cheating for them. Okay well, I suppose there is truth in that seeing how complex women are at times. Yes, I am nodding in approval here.

The thing is, men and women view cheating differently. If a men cheats, they might not feel that it’s cheating but the women might think that it is and vice versa. If you’re wondering what you’re doing is cheating or not, maybe you should ask yourself the obvious; would I be angry if my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/spouse does this? If the answer is yes, then that’s the answer you’ve been searching for.

But cheating is more complex than that, I’m sure.

In an article on Askmen.com, women were asked to vote on what they think constitutes as cheating and the answers are surprising – well, not surprising to me seeing that I am a female and I agree with what they said.

Among all of the answers that they give, there are a few that caught my attention.

Confiding In Other Women

“Connecting with another woman on an emotional level is worse than connecting with her on a sexual level.”

This is what the previous article talks about; exclusivity. The fact that you are confiding with someone other than your partner regarding personal issues, sexually or not, without your partner’s knowledge, you have violated the exclusivity that you have with your partner.

Flirting Provocatively

“I don’t mind innocent flirting, I do it all the time,” admits Jennifer, 39, a dentist, “but if he’s flirting with the intent of eventually getting a piece of action, then it’s over.”

Image Source: ‘The Queer Guy At The Strip Club, Or, The Opposite Of Sex‘

Getting Private Dances At Strip Joints

There are some women who think that going to a strip joint in and of itself constitutes cheating, but not every woman in this survey did. The problem, however, surfaces when a guy pays to touch a stripper.

I never understood why going to a strip joint is considered cheating. I always felt that it’s okay for a guy to go to a strip joint because it is equal to watching porn; you just sit there and watch. But I guess actually paying the girl for private dances or for the guy to touch her would make me feel uncomfortable.

Engaging In Cyber Sex (or phone sex/sexting)

Getting on the Net and talking sex to other women ranks high on the “cheating” scale. Masturbating while doing so is even worse. ”I pride myself on making sure my husband is sexually satisfied, so first, I’d ask him why, and if the answer is complete crap, I’d leave him,” says Tammy, 34, a housewife. 

Read full article here.

I personally feel that between cheating physically (have sex or kissing) or emotionally (cybersex, excessive flirting or talking about fantasies), emotion takes the prize. Probably because I feel that emotions are the strongest part in us and it is because of these emotions and thoughts that allow us to do what we do and accept (or reject) people for who they are.

Sure, it’s true that some people can be emotionally unavailable and tend to say things for the sake of saying things, but that’s another story altogether. For right now, I’d say that I’d be more afraid if my guy falls in love with another girl and sharing a whole lot of stuff as oppose to him fucking another girl. Not to say that I’m completely okay with him fucking, but if you were to ask me which one I would find more forgivable, it would definitely be being physical WITHOUT having emotions attached.

Unfortunately though, cheating is not a black and white thing. There are MORE to it than just talking about the ideal non-cheating scenario. 

If you are still adamant as to what actually constitutes as cheating and you’re still bewildered by your partner’s overreaction towards your innocent doings as cheating, well, I bet this sentence can help you.

“Cheating is not about what YOU think it is, but what your partner constitutes as cheating.”

So case solved. :P

Person: “So, what is your blog about?”

Me: “It can be about anything or something or perhaps, nothing at all.”

Person: “Well, that’s just depressing.”

Me: “Maybe. Or perhaps, maybe not.”

Lines

On my floor to my right, I see an empty bowl with what used to be two full bodies of corn previously stripped nude by my fingers. Most people eat corn with their mouth, enjoying the juices that corn has to offer and carefully use their nails to pick out any corn skin stuck in their teeth (don’t cringe, you know you did it too), but I on the other hand, as weird as this is (or probably not), prefer to pluck it one by one – or three, perhaps four – and gather it in my empty container.

Stripped

My black RM99 phone is beside the bowl, looking at me, like it was sad or something. Angry perhaps? I feel its piercing eyes which in this case is represented by its screen, looking at me asking me why I did not use it to its full potential recently. That is true. I barely touch my phone these days. Even if I did, it’s mostly to reply a text or to receive a phone call. I barely start anything at all.

Neglected?

Balance

As I sit on the edge of my bed, hunching down on my laptop which I am currently balancing on my stool, I wonder if I could keep writing this piece and make it seemed like it is the most interesting piece I have ever written. Perhaps, I can, with a little make believe.

Everyone should have a make believe talent and writing is mine.

I honestly am not sure where this is going so I will stop for now. Good night.

Little girl Sue,
Feeling very blue,
She doesn’t have a clue,
On what she should do.

They both met each other,
Not that they ever bother,
They just walked away,
And move on with their day.

—————————————

I was bored at McDonald’s so I decided to write a poem and a few drafts of short stories that I ended up not finishing. It’s disappointing.

I used to really love writing short stories and poetry, I still do actually, but not enough (love). I should probably start writing more of these huh?

My friend called me scary and creepy for my ability, no, talent, to stalk people online. To be able to learn about a complete stranger whom you met via a website where everyone opt for a pseudonym to interact with each other is a really freaky thing. Just by his name and location alone, I am able to track down his high school records, jersey number, pictures of him and up to his favourite colour. If that’s not scary, I don’t know what is.

Source: A Teen Speaks: Do We Even Want To See Who’s Looking At Our Facebook Pages?

I recently came to know someone from the Internet world who gave me two key information about himself; his name and place of work. So I used that to my advantage and did my research. I quickly found his not-so-private Facebook account and another person’s account whom he fondly talks about, his interest, his home address, his website, his Twitter account and his contribution towards said interest.

(p.s.: I’m typing out these things as I accidentally stumble on them whilst going through his stuff.)

I know what you might be thinking, “Jasmine, you are one creepy lady!“

I think so too. But see, thank fucking bumblee bees that it is me who found it and not some beyondly creepy person. (See, I said beyondly creepy, so I’m still a creep, but more mild I suppose?)

But at the same time though, it does make one think; if a normal-ass person like me am able to find these information about some random person I met on the Internet, imagine how easy it is for a dangerous stalker to find information about us?

I’m jealous of people who barely use the Internet or who is so good with hiding their information that experienced stalkers like myself find it fucking hard to track them down. I bet it’s their paranoia that forces them to be so secretive about their shit. For the past year or two, I have been tracking down my stuff on the Internet and deleting them ever so delicately because 1) I don’t use them any more and 2) I like to not get stalked once in awhile, thank you very much.

I’m very careful to things that I share on public, non-personal spaces like my blogs or Twitter. Well, at least, try to anyway. I should stalk my own self to see just how much stalkable I am to the general stalkers.

Haha! Hilarious!

Speaking about random strangers stalking you, did you throw some oranges to the lake/sea/swimming pool recently for Chap Goh Mei? I sure did, together with a bunch of other very hopeful girls.

Look at those oranges!

Can you see them????? WHOA!

This better give me a boyfriend this year, or else!

Not that I’m hoping on this or anything. *cough cough*

For example, I have multiple email addresses that I keep; in total, 5 of them.

An address for social networking sites.

An address for private or websites that needs membership and stuff.

An address for official stuff.

An address for university stuff.

An address for random stuff.

I cherish my privacy a lot. I know it doesn’t seem like that since I own a fucking blog (well, blogs) and pretty much put tons of my shit on there, but to be brutally honest, I go to all lengths to keep my personal information private. As private as fucking possible – like the names of my friends and places I go to or who is able to see me on certain sites.

Say, if someone adds me as a chat friend on Skype for example, they couldn’t use the same Skype email to search me on Facebook because I used another email to do just that. Or I use fake names on profiles. I get really paranoid at times of some people who could just Google me using my full/real name.

And I don’t fancy this whole ‘check-in‘ bits that Facebook, Twitter or phone apps have, and I don’t quite understand why people are so keen on letting other people know where they are. I’m pretty okay if you tell people where you’ve been, but not where you are currently at. That’s just an invitation to stalkers; despite them being in your friend list of not. Acquaintances can be stalker. Just a heads up.

You have no idea how fucking easy it is to find everything about a person just by searching for them on Google. I found out everything about some guy I met online; from his full name, where he studied before, where he lived and even right down to what position he played in baseball and what’s his jersey number, all because he used the same email for his Skype, Facebook and school.

There’s a term for someone who stalks other people using Google. It’s called a Google stalker (no brainer) or Internet stalker. There’s even a website about Google stalking. It’s insane how people go to lengths to find someone via search sites.

I won’t say that I am privacy expert, but these are just small things that you have to keep an eye on, you know?

Here is a list on how to keep safe while on the Internet from my own experience.

1. Use multiple email addresses for different purposes. (Addresses for official stuff, personal social networking sites, non-personal social networking sites etc).

2. Change your password regularly to avoid hackers or spams.

3. Use fake names for non-personal stuff like blogs or emails. (Facebook is a personal thing because you have your friends and families who you know personally as oppose to other social networking sites like dating sites where you don’t want people to know a lot about your personal information.)

4. Avoid checking-in to places using your Facebook/ Twitter/ phone apps when you’re still at the place. Only check-in when you’re out of that place.

5. Change Facebook settings to enable you to accept/decline check-ins by friends. With this setting, other people won’t be able to see your name on your or your friend’s profile when he/she tags you in their check-ins up until you accept that tag.

6. Avoid using full names or real names (of yourself and family/friends) on blogs or other non-private sites (for example; Skype, dating sites etc…)

7. Don’t tell people where you live exactly. Say, if you live in Bukit Padang, just tell them that you live in KK instead or that you live ___ minutes away from KK.

8. Teach your younger siblings or sons/daughters these things too! Online safety is important!

9. Privatize information against new friends or acquaintances and only ‘lift’ it when you two are close enough to share things with.

Stay safe!