I’m 21 and I’ve only been in two romantic relationships, ever. In fact, I don’t even think my first relationship was an actual relationship; if you count a month plus worth of long distance relationship at fourteen as being a ‘relationship’. I certainly don’t think it was one.
Having a gorgeous sister didn’t help as well since she has boys lining up to date her. It was easy for guys to like her. It was so easy that she actually told me how easy it was.
Sister: “I can’t be friends with guys.”
Sister: “It’s like, whenever I’m friends with them, they’d always like me or something. Always. And I hate that.”
She didn’t say it in a ‘I’m better than you’ sort of way, she said it because it was the truth. My sister is gorgeous and she has a beautiful personality, who wouldn’t like her? I’d like her too if she wasn’t my sister. In a totally, non-incestious kind of way.
Okay, no, that’s just wrong. But you get my point!
Knowing that my sister gets boys easily made me think why I am single. And often, I’d get people asking me the same thing too, which is annoying and flattering at the same time.
People: “You’re beautiful, intelligent and funny. Why are you still single?”
And then, what’s worse is that – and I don’t want to be mean or anything – I used to know someone who did not have all the awesome qualities that I have but still manages to get tons of boyfriends. Right there and then, I knew I was fucked. I knew I was doomed to be forever alone.
But one day, I read a quote that made me be all, “Ohhhhh… That’s why!“
I can’t remember what it was exactly and I can’t find the quote now, but this is what it was roughly about.
I found out that I WAS AN APPLE.
But unlike any other apples, I apparently am located on the top part of the tree, the ‘toppest’ part in fact. I learn that there was nothing wrong with me, I was perfectly fine. In fact, I am more than fine, I am one of the juiciest apples around!
Because I am located at the top of the tree, only a rare kind of guy – the one who is not afraid to climb up the tree, is able to go get me. He’s the kind of guy who was not afraid to go through the annoying branches to find a good quality apple, because well, he is also of good quality himself.
Those (guys) who settle for the so-so or bad quality apples prefer not to climb up the tree but pluck apples that are located on the bottom part of the tree or apples that have fallen down. And these particular apples do not care who plucked them because all they want is to be plucked and own by just about anybody who can get their hands on them.
The question right now is, which apple are you?
I didn’t think this ‘theory’ applied to me at first until I realized who the guys I’ve dated and what my choices of guys are like in general. I’ve dated pretty ambitious, career-minded guys who are strong, intellectual, independent and has a lot going for them. Our relationship, though short has so much meaning and depth in them.
My friend on the other hand, date guys for the sake of dating them. She didn’t care if they were someone who has no solid future or ambition, all she wanted was to have a boyfriend to fill in the void that she has in her life and often, it was the lust that she was trying to fulfil. She always ends up being cheated on in the end or is a cheater herself. She has multiple boyfriends at the same time which she regarded them as the loves of her life.
I thought that was total bull by the way, but that’s just me. Some people like having a little bit of fun.
What I’m trying to say is that, if you’re ever sad that you’re single or you think that you’re not worth it enough to actually have a boyfriend or that, you’ve never had one, don’t worry too much. There’s nothing wrong with you at all or not having a boyfriend. In fact, you’re perfectly normal. You’re gorgeous, talented, intelligent and special, and you need someone who’s just as gorgeous, talented, intelligent and special as you.
Everyone grow up at a different rate and the same is applied when it comes to relationships. My sister who is just as gorgeous, talented, intelligent and special as me may have boys lining up for her, but that doesn’t mean that I’m any less than her for not having boys lining up for me. Sometimes, those boys are just too afraid to pursue someone who is better than them, so you need a guy who’s not afraid of a girl who’s just as awesome (if not more) than them.
Whenever you’re feeling depressed about being single (which you shouldn’t by the way! Being single is waaaay awesome!!!), just remind yourself that you’re the top apple and your prince charming is currently busy climbing his way up to you.
And always, ALWAYS remember that it’s not about the quantity (how many boyfriends you have), but about the quality (of the relationship). Sure one can brag about the number of boyfriends they have, but how many people can actually say that all their relationships were worth being in and meant something to them?
Till then, focus your energy not on waiting but on something much more rewarding like, oh I don’t know, being awesome? ;)
Have a great week!