Sexually Confused.

I was asked by a friend once if I was into guys or girls. I said, “Boys.”

She then looked at me in the eyes and said,

“Are you sure? Have you ever been with a girl before? How would you know you’re into guys if you’ve never been with a girl before?”

It’s easy, I just know.

“How do you know that you’re straight if you’ve never been with a girl before?” She asked me. [Source]

It was a no brainer, really. When you grow up being interested in boys, despite knowing how hot girls are (I know, I’m one of them), you’d know instantly that your cup of tea are boys. Or you would be interested in both boys and girls or just girls/boys. You just know.

You don’t need to kiss a girl to justify your interest towards boys. Some people are confused with their sexuality and they want to keep their options open, which is fine. But I hate it when people question my own sexuality, despite having me telling them over and over again that yes, I do like boys more than girls. Or that, yes, I am straight, totally straight.

Just because you’re confused with your own sexuality or beliefs doesn’t mean that you have to question other’s as well.

My homosexual friends get this all the time. Once people know they gay, they start turning them ‘straight’ again. It doesn’t work that way. They’re not confused about their sexuality, they’re interested in people of their own gender, that’s just it. As much as they force themselves to accept the other gender, the thought is pretty disgusting and disturbing, just as how us straight people think that being with the same gender is disgusting and disturbing.

Sexually confused? Confused with your own gender identity? [Source]

It’s a matter of preference, not a matter of ‘we are confused’.

And how do you measure yourself as being straight, gay or bi anyway?

I know a lot of straight women out there fantasize about being with other women. They wonder how it feels like to make out with women, but does that mean that they’re lesbians? No. Just because you fantasize doesn’t mean that you are one because at the end of the day, your interest is still with guys.

There was this one time where I told an online friend that I often think about kissing girls, just to try it out. It’s not that I am sexually interested in girls or confused about my sexuality, it’s just that, I am curious. That’s all. But she didn’t see it that way.

“Omg! So you are bi! I mean, if you think about it, then you are one!”

Uhm. No.

See, I can have sexual experimentations with girls and still go around calling myself straight because although I was physically with a girl, I know that my interest will always be towards boys. Only boys can turn me on and drive me insane, not girls. Despite whatever they say, deep inside, I know I wouldn’t go for girls. Yes, we may have experimented on things, but I don’t think that that would turn me gay at all.

Which is why this whole, “OMG! Stay away from gay/bi people! They will make you gay/bi as well! You’ll catch their disease!” crap is fucking ridiculous!

Okay, well perhaps you don’t see it the way I see it. You may think that the measures of a straight person being homosexual or bisexual is through their thoughts of wanting to be with the same gender or their actual sexual engagement with the same gender, but I personally don’t see it that way. The way I see it; if you don’t think it, you’re not. But that’s just me, of course. I don’t represent the whole world.

And before you go around throwing hate comments at me saying that I hate gays and bisexuals just because I don’t want to be labelled as one, I have to tell you straight up that no, you’re wrong. It doesn’t mean that just because you refuse to be labelled as one, you hate them. That’s just really shallow. It just means that you don’t see yourself as part of the clan and there’s nothing wrong to be thinking that way.

It’s like, just because you like Miley Cyrus’ The Climb but you don’t like her other songs, it doesn’t mean that you’re a Miley Cyrus fan. And yes, sexual experimentation may not be the same as liking a song, but the idea behind it is the same; just because you did it, doesn’t mean you’re it.

I don’t know if I make sense.

But I guess, my point is that, I am young and I do want to go around experimenting things. I may not get anything out of it, but I don’t want to be 60 and be all, “Hey you old timers! Let’s smoke some weed!” or “Hey, I’ve always wondered how it feels like to kiss a girl. Wanna kiss a fellow grandma?”

To this I say, go!

Go and experiment around! Go bungee jumping! Go smoke weed! Go try shisha! Go for a random travel! Go shave your head bald (for girls, I mean)! Go join a marathon! Go have an orgy (but do it safely)! Go learn a new language! Go kiss someone of the same sex! Just go!

You will never had a chance to do this when you’re older and wouldn’t it be cool to be 70 and be all, “You know, when I was your age, I slept around with over 100 guys and girls! Yeah sure, they call me a slut, but who cares! I had the best sex in my life!”

HAHAHA! *wink*

Author: Jasmine

Jasmine is from tropical Borneo. She loves traveling, fashion and all things lifestyle.

2 thoughts on “Sexually Confused.”

  1. Nice write :p
    Labels just make classifying easier…but human always have grey areas. We do what we like, and we like what we do:) For this case, who we like :P

    1. Aw.. Thanks May! And yes to everything you said :) How true that humans have grey areas. I think it’s just that people are afraid of the unknown, that’s why they have to label. Ah well :)

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