The art of socializing: The tools

NOTE: This post is aimed at those who are 18 and above. If you’re below 18 and you want to try these things, I do not know you and you do not know this blog.


Socializing is an art. Socializing is a privilege. Socializing is a big responsibility.

Everybody has a tool when it comes to socializing. You don’t necessarily need them, but it’s a big help if you do know a skill or have something to make you ‘interesting’ or ‘relatable’.

Growing up, in order to have friends around my kampung area, I needed to know how to ride a bicycle because everyone have a bicycle. They’d travel here and there with their bike, so I knew I had to learn how to cycle if I wanted to keep up and not be all depressed for not having friends. So I did and I had new friends. It was also essential for me to learn how to play badminton because well, everybody play badminton as a kid. At least, here in Malaysia.


And then when I grew up, it was the Internet. Friendster was big back then, so you have to have Friendster (or quite recently, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, blogs… You name it!) to keep in touch with your friends and do all those important after-school chill out session. It was hard for mom to let me go to the city (yes, KK is a city, a very small city) on my own but it’s part of the sport of socializing; she has to give me the ‘ok’ to go out with my friends because it was already ‘time’ for me to expand my land of hanging out other than school or my/friends’ houses.

Then after high school, these ‘tools’/’abilities’ expanded to driving, drinking, partying, shisha sessions, being able to stay up really late, knowing an instrument or two, being familiar with the music or movie scene (the old and the new), politics, having money, connections, smoking weed, intellectual conversation about anything, an interesting personality, a funny bone, being crazy and wacky, being passionate about something, being open minded, casual sex, knowing random facts or tips on things, knowing cool places to hang out etc etc…

Partying… The universal language of socializing.

Wacky personality! [Source]


Getting pissed drunk.



Now, some of you might cringe reading some of these things. I have to say, I cringed too. But here’s the thing… You don’t have to have everything in the list because above all, the most importance thing in socializing is respect – not judging each other.

Like say, if you’re not used to people who talk about sex and sexuality freely and openly, but you still want to be friends with them and think that they’re pretty cool people to hang out with, then don’t give them that “What the fuck” face, instead, act cool and listen to them… You might just learn a thing or two about something :)

Friends smoking weed and you’re not up for it? Then don’t try it. You don’t have to try it at all and although you may be freaking out with them doing that – since you’re not used to the whole scene, just breathe in and act normally. As tempted as you are, the worse thing you could ever do is to give one hour worth of lecture or non-stop questions on why they smoke weed. Trust me, the only education and regret they have is not towards them smoking weed, but towards knowing you.

Smoking a joint

I’m no socializing queen, but I know that when it comes to making new friends, the last thing you want to do is question somebody’s choice with their life or their thoughts just because it doesn’t go in line with yours. You don’t know them well enough to actually comment on their life, so if you think that they’re not worth being friends with, then move on and stop being friends with them. But if you think that they’re pretty awesome people to hang out with, then show some respect and you’ll be okay.

Sway according to how they sway if you’re able to adapt and keep up to it. Try new things if you’re curious. You only live once anyway, especially if you’re in university or college just like me; the fun is now!

Trying new shit while you’re in university or college is awesome because well, you’re old enough to understand rights and wrongs, but young enough to do all those adventurous and crazy things.

Trust me, it doesn’t make you a bad person to try new things. I’m glad I grew up from being this uptight kid to this super awesome young lady. Hehe. But really though, it’s also important to know that you can make friends by finding out what both of you have in common. That’s always a great ice-breaker!

Have fun socializing!

Author: Jasmine

Jasmine is from tropical Borneo. She loves traveling, fashion and all things lifestyle.

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