Grammar Victim: “I like these candies. What is your favourite candies?”
Grammar Nazi/Police: “What ARE your favourite candies, if you are asking for more than one candy. What is your favourite CANDY, if you are asking for one type of candy.”
Oh you know these people. They’re everywhere! Out to save the world from bad grammar, wrong spellings, poor choice of words and extremely horrible usage (or non-usage) of punctuations.
It’s not vandalizing if you’re helping them spell.
Yes, these people do exist and unfortunately, I am one of them. Yes, I admit. I am a walking, talking spell checker. At first it was a pride of mine; to save lives from bad spellings and grammars or poor choice of words, but then I realized that I was torturing myself more than other people. You know what they say about you being your biggest enemy and critique.
Yes, that is true.
A grammar nazi is a perfectionist. The fact that I am so particular about spellings and words, I give myself a pretty hard time when it comes to my blog posts. I read and re-read and re-re-re-re-read again and again just to see if my sentences, spellings, grammar, punctuation blah blah blah are wrong. It’s crazzzyyyy! I’d be editing and re-editing my shit a million times. It’s depressing.
But hey, there are some up-sides to being so particular about these things.
1. It’s easy for you to get over a really hot guy who can’t tell the difference between your and you’re.
2. Intimidated by someone who’s better looking than you? Hey look! Did she just write wierd and alot?
Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Haha!
I bet there are more, but I just dropped two ultimatum, so I can’t think of anything else that’s more epic than those two!
I also had a glorious time reading what my friends had to say about their own pet peeves with grammars and spellings. I asked them:
“What tick you off? On a scale of 1 – 10, how much of a grammar nazi are you?“
The abuse of the words ‘you’re’ and ‘your’.
Short formed Malay words in sentences such as “twu larh hot , ta pyh larh na kcoh cgt , ewh ! ta btak larh , plezz larh weyh ..” also annoys me. And I think I’m an 8! – XE
The usage of i and not I, 4 and not for; they’re and their. Sentence structure is much frowned upon too, especially if they’re not native English speakers. OH and I simply DETEST people who TyPe LiKe tHiS wEeEe or i lOvE YoU. I simply brand them as retards. On a scale of 1-10, I’m a 8.5… 9? – Gwyneth
I don’t know. I’m a 5, maybe. I’m more particular when it comes to punctuations and spacing. I don’t really see it as a grammar nazi thing but more of an OCPD thing. I hate it when people do this; there should not be a space between your last word and the full stop. Space comes after the full stop. Oh yeah, please, please, please, please don’t replace ‘come’ with ‘cum’. – Loo Shin
Only 1 thing…’your’ and ‘you’re’ – Flanegan
Punctuation. Seriously, people! It’s like listening to a person trying to cramp everything in one breath and sounding very monotonous. – Edgar
I’m a 10. Also, alot is one of my favourite grammar-fail moments, because of Allie Brosh’s genius: The Alot. – Jess
When it comes to typing, incorrect sentence structures irk me but when it’s speaking, I guess you don’t really pay attention to the sentence structures… Oh! But when I see someone trashing other people’s English when their own English ain’t that great…ohhh.. ffffuuuuuu… Oh, one friend overused this one ridiculous ‘swear’ > Chesus cries. Not sure what to react to that. – Sheryl
I’m a 9. – Salveen & Fabian
Pretty low I guess, a 4 maybe? But situation-based though. I text/email a lot, so I don’t mind the short words. Plus, I also have a lot of friends where English is a second language for them, so sentence structure does not bother me either. But that’s with friends. If I’m reading a newspaper or website, I want 100% accuracy. They are paid editors! – Ben
I don’t really care about grammars and all that to be honest. As long as I understand what you say, you’re good to go. – S
So I guess, I’m not the only grammar nazi around! :P
Oh, while we’re on the subject of language, I have to agree with Sheryl’s Cheesus Cries thing. I don’t do well with overused phrases and those stupid censored words.
I remember reading a very angry status by a friend a month ago and as I was busy absorbing in her anger, I started laughing. She was so angry and yet, she had the decency (and ability) to censor herself amidst her anger.
“…I f***ing hate him! I hope he f***ing dies in hell! I hope he sh*ts in his pants!”
I can’t do that.
Seriously, if you’re angry, just let it out! If you’re uncomfortable with using or spelling fuck, then don’t use the word. Simple as that :)
But of course, I’m not trying to be mean here! If you’re not comfortable to say or type FUCK, you’re not comfortable. But I’m just saying… You know? :)
Anyway, if you’re like me and you get annoyed over the usage of ‘ALOT’ instead of ‘A LOT’, you might enjoy this blog post recommended by Jess; The Alot is Better Than You at Everything. I swear, your grammar nazi side will die down once you read the post. Mine did!
And you know what grammar nazis have in common? Coming together and making fun of other people with bad grammars through comics. This is a mean act, but we all find pleasure in doing it!
Here are some of The Oatmeal’s grammar comics!
Emails like this tick me off so bad.
Both images belong to The Oatmeal.
But you know, when I think about it, I should stop being a total nazi when it comes to grammars. I mean, people make honest mistake all the damn time. I might be making a few mistakes in this post alone and although I should be embarassed by it, since, you know, I’m writing about grammar and shit and I have my own mistake here, I am not (embarrassed)!
Since we’re speaking about honest mistakes, you should resist yourself to immediately laugh or cringe at someone else’s mistake especially when you know that their English is awesome. I hate it when people get all up on my grind whenever I said something wrong unconsciously; it makes me feel like shit, especially when I know that my English is pretty okay. It’s not Oxford good, but it’s not bad either, you know what I mean?
You can’t be a grammar nazi ALL THE BLOODY TIME. It’s annoying. Be a selective nazi.
If you must be annoyed, be annoyed at people who refuse to change the way they spell things despite being told millions of times or people who do stupid shit just to annoy you. Or those people who use conversational languages in their blogs or short forms when chatting or commenting. It’s cute if you’re 13 and you use conversational English in your essay but it’s not cute if you’re 27 and you write $hIt LiK dIz.
You’re dammit, YOU’RE!
Us grammar nazis can be borderline AH-NOH-YEENG, so we should rest once in awhile, especially when it comes to our very own fellow nazi’s blog post; a.k.a. mine. Hehe.
So anyway, to end the post, I thought this picture would be extremely appropriate.
Have a good weekend everybody!