I have this thing that I call mini traumas.
You know how traumas work. Something traumatic happen to you and you get scared for life. You won’t do anything that has any relation to your traumatic experience because it would remind you of your experience and obviously, none of us want to remember that.
Sometimes however, you don’t need something major happen to you to actually qualify as a traumatic experience. An experience is an experience, no matter how big or small that experience is.
Like for example, and you might find this ridiculous, but I personally don’t like touching other people’s faces because I think it’s rude and dirty. Thus why, I don’t fancy the idea of putting make-up on people because that means that I have to touch their face, even if it’s not the whole face. I especially hate, hate, HATE putting foundation on people’s faces. I’d feel all weird inside.
This disinterest of touching people’s faces came from a slap on my hand and a loud “Don’t touch my face! Your hands are dirty!” by a boy whom I playfully touched his face with my cold hands. I was playing with ice beforehand and wanted to annoy people but apparently, he didn’t have a sense of humour.
I felt like I was the most disgusting person ever that particular moment. I can still remember how I felt and I remember it clearly even though it happened about 7 years ago.
A recent mini trauma happened over dinner when a friend literally hold my hand when I was about to lick a spoonful of mayonnaise.
“Don’t eat that! Those are fats!”
He had a look of disgust on him and that made me stop. Nowadays, I’d think twice before eating mayonnaise because it reminded me of his look, that look. It has been about 4-5 months since I’ve eaten mayonnaise raw. I still do eat it, like dip it with chips but I don’t fancy it much now, at least, not as much as I use to last time.
What people say don’t really bother me much, but it is when people who matter or who I respect that would pretty much make my mini trauma kick in. This would usually accompanied by their look of disgust on me. This mini trauma may be a good thing (like the one with the mayonnaise), but I personally don’t like it. It’s still a traumatic experience to me and it really killed my self esteem because I felt that I am a disgusting human being in their eyes, although only for that split second.
Do you have your own personal mini trauma? No trauma is ridiculous, seriously. If you genuinely felt that you were traumatized by it, then that is a mini trauma. Like I said, a traumatic experience is a traumatic experience, no matter how big or small.