Addiction

I have an addiction and I hate to tell people about it.

My addiction is pretty common for a lot of people. Maybe, probably. I don’t know. Don’t laugh, it’s something serious. Well at least, serious to me.

I have this thing where when I go out, I always imagine myself bumping in to somebody; an ex-boyfriend, an ex-class/schoolmate, a soon to be boyfriend perhaps? Perhaps.

I went to the book store yesterday (and today) thinking about bumping into people but obviously, that never happened. I think about bumping into a guy who would probably be a future boyfriend or husband? I don’t know. Just bumping into people in general.

I hate surprises, especially when it comes to actually bumping into people when I least expected it.

The other day I bumped into an ex-boyfriend when I was busy browsing though a row of jeans. It was awkward. I was awkward. I didn’t know what to say. What do you say exactly?

See, when I expect myself to bump into somebody, I think about what to say. “Oh, hi!”, “Yes, I go here all the time. Well, not really. I just like to say that so that I would seem like an interesting person to you.”

You know, something witty like that.

But when I bump into someone without me actually wanting to bump in to someone – without reasons I could not tell you (well, okay. Maybe because I look crappy or something) – I don’t know what to say and things just get… awkward. That’s another thing about me, I hate being in awkward situation. Well, no one else does.

Why is that when I look fairly decent, I don’t bump into people? Why is it that when I look the most crappiest, people just decide to cross paths with me and they just look so fucking good, all the damn time!

What is this? SERIOUSLY.

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