I was contemplating whether there is a use to want something or be something (or someone) considering the fact that everyone preach about just being yourself. What does ‘being yourself’ mean, especially in a world where everyone is pretty integrated? (Or as I like to think of it; joined by the
hip Internet) If wanting to be someone who you think you should be because you have a feeling that you are that person, does that mean that you are being you or is that you being someone else?
I don’t know if this is weird to even blurt out, but after years of being exposed to things, people and generally, everything, I had (and still am) visually cut and pasted things, people and general everything to myself, or at least, onto an idealized version of myself. Someone who is flamboyant, smart, witty, funny, creative, fun. All the bits. Think of it as a scrap-book of all things that you love.
In other news, I’ll be turning 22 tomorrow. WHAT.
I was in the ladies’ yesterday and heard someone talking about business on the phone and all I had in my mind was how fancy she was and how I wanted to be like her some day; someone important. I fancy the idea actually. I never stop thinking about what I will be like when I grow up and who I will be with (work, live, love).
It’s rather nice to think about what future me looks like. I always think about that. Always. But it’s scary though. I am so focussed on the future that the present me seems very unsure of a lot of things or rather, is lost somewhere between thinking about a lot of things.
I guess the best thing to do now is to be happy with what I have. I may not be the person I hoped I be (just yet), but I’ll reach there somehow and perhaps, one day, be that person?
In the meantime, guess who I met recently?
Happy birthday to me :)