You know what I want to be?
I want to be those deep people whom you see in movies with their notepad and pen, sitting somewhere, just observing and drawing people or places. They seem so mysterious and intellectual, as if they know something about the world and we don’t. They are hard to figure out which either makes them an interesting person to be around with or an annoying one; the kind that would make you fucking frustrated.
I met someone who’s like that before. He used to be such an interesting person to talk to and he frustrates the shit out of me because he just makes everything hard. Every little detail about someone, about their movements and actions, he would make such a big deal about it and that’s frustrating. What’s worse is that he constantly criticize people for everything and he looks at himself as being the perfect being of some sort. But of course, that is never true.
He is flawed.
But after a while, things with him became so easy. He was not as trivial and mysterious any more because well, I finally figured him out. He finds it rather annoying at first but proceeded to be in awe with my ability to finally ‘figure him out’. He finds that incredibly astonishing.
And then slowly, he finds me rather boring to entertain. As do I with him. And we just slowly… drift a part. There’s no spark between us any more. No drama, no mystery. Everything just became… normal. I’m still figuring out whether I have figured him out or whether he just stopped being himself. Maybe he grew out of it? Maybe things just became to fucking complicated and he’s sick of it? Or maybe, it was because of the earlier thought of mine; that I simply have just figured him out.
Nonetheless, this does not stop me from wanting to be that mysterious person though. It’s interesting. It allows you to see people from a different perspective. A twisted one, but one nonetheless. I guess what’s interesting is that you get to be the odd one out, someone who goes against the flow and you just observe how people break down because of that.
When someone cannot figure out someone else, it’s either they keep trying or quit; either they treat you badly or treat you good. I mean, it’s interesting how so easy people get upset over things that, often time, is not important and that is what I learn from him or rather, what I learn from interacting with him all this time.
I wish I could be deep and emotionless; not bothered by what people do or think of me. I’d just look at them, smile and move on.
But then again, that’s just me, you know.