What not to do during phone sex

Ever got yourself excited to have phone sex and then get miserably disappointed when his voice is sooooo not hot? All you have in your mind is to get out of it but couldn’t.

Well, fear not because I have various solutions for you to get yourself out of this sad, un-orgasmic entanglement!

Here is… *drum roll*

JASMINE’S WHAT NOT TO DO DURING PHONE SEX TO-DO LIST!

(Especially during the heat of the moment; his, I mean!)

1. Deepen your voice and put that man voice on!

A sure turn off factor! (Or turn on, if he’s into that kind of thing! :S) When he’s in the mood, just whip out that man voice and talk!

Him: “Oh baby, you’re so hot!”

You: *deep voice* “Oh baby, so are you. Hmmmm.” *sexy evil dracula laugh to add effect*

2. Insert words like ‘pretty’, ‘adorable’ or ‘cute’ to describe anything on him.

“Wow darling. I can almost feel your pretty pee pee and your pretty boobies. I love your moans, they’re so cute! And your hard on is so adorable! I just want to pinch it!”

3. Laugh, just laugh.

Him: “Oh baby. Can you feel me inside of you? Mmm…”

You: “Hahahaha!! Whaaaaaatttt?? Hahahaaha!!!”

4. Get disgusted.

Him: “Do you want me to put it in now? I want to put it in!”

You: “Put what in?”

Him: “You know…”

You: “Oh you mean… Ewww! What is wrong with you?? That’s just downright wrong!”

5. Stop… halfway.

Him: “Ohhhh.. You drive me wild!”

You: “Do I? Do I really?”

Him: “Oh yesssss… I’m soooo turned on, baby!! You making me wilddd.. Mmmm…”

You: “Meh. I’m bored of this. Can we do something else? Pleasseeeeee…”

6. Lastly… Just combine everything!

Him: “You’re so hot. I want to ram you hard!”

You: “Really? Aww.. That’s so cute! Especially with your adorable little friend!”

Him: “You like that don’t you?”

You: “Hahaha! Me? Like it? Hahahaha.”

Him: “Well… Don’t you? You seemed to be enjoying it just now!”

You: “Are you crazy? That was the most disgusting conversation ever!”

Him: “Whaaattt??? What’s wrong with you???!!”

You: *deep voice* “Nothing baby, I’m just so horny for you. You make me crazy!” *crazy dracula laugh*

Him: “Oh well, if that’s how you like to play it, I’m all in. You’re making me horny again.”

You: “Oh really? Well, good for you! I’m bored. I’m going to do something more fun than this. Bye!”

Hehehehe.

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6 thoughts on “What not to do during phone sex

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