“You’ve changed!”

Jojo and Lulu are the best of friends. They do everything together. Like totally.

One day, Jojo went on a life changing journey, a.k.a. university, and when she came back, she was not the same Jojo any more. She has mad love for goth and her opinions of the world changed.

During a fight, Lulu shouted, “You’ve changed!” And so they lived happily ever after not doing everything together ever again. Like totally.

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Well, you get the picture.

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Change is a scary thing.

Everyone is afraid of change, especially if it happens to their friends, family, society or place that they have grown to be familiar with. This is mainly because of the sense of lost in familiarity and the introduction to unpredictability that falls upon everyone (including myself). Nobody wants to be in a situation where they could not control or identify something.

Are you afraid of change?

Thing is, we are afraid of the unknown, the unpredictable. Which is why, often times, for example in Malaysia, people are obsessed with putting everyone in a ‘box’ (Are you Malay, Chinese, Indian or lain-lain?), where they could treat each other ‘accordingly’.

Thus why, when you ‘change’ after coming back from university (or anywhere), people get all crazy and shout things like, “You’re not the same any more! You’ve changed!

Some meant it as a positive way, which is great.

Some meant it the other way, a really negative and hurtful way which totally suck. But don’t fret! If you do happen to unfortunately be graced with these negativity, do stand up and say something. Write a letter if you must.

Dear you who should not be named, 

Yes, I have changed.

I have changed because I have grown to understand that things do not revolve around me and me alone (although I would like that to happen so that I could be a better version of Paris Hilton; a more curvier and intelligent version of her who advocate for curves, instead of ugly bags). 

Also, to answer your questions on…

Why I didn’t answer your phone calls or texts on time. I’m busy. Too busy. I have grown up things to do now – like paying my bills and tailgating people for their parking spots in school (you would understand this if you go to my school :/) And also, I’m in university. University = broke = no phone credit. DUH.

Why am I not hanging with you any more. I want things to be balanced in our conversation; boy, world issues, gossips, humanitarian issues, other girls, philosophical thoughts… Not – boys, boys, boys, gossips, other girls, gossips, ignorant preachy thoughts. 

Why am I not hanging with you any more – in relation to money. University = student = broke. But mamak, can lah.

Why I’ve changed. I’ve grown. My thoughts and priorities have changed because of this. So it’s either we re-acquaint ourselves or let old memories be the only memories we have of our friendship.

The girl whom you screamed “You’ve changed!” at.

Not all changes are bad and at the same time, not all are good as well. A change is good when it lifts you up in a positive way.

If you’re going through change (i.e., transitioning from high school to university or from university to a working environment for example), don’t be afraid of it. It’s an exciting journey to a new chapter in your life, so embrace it!

You know it!

Author: Jasmine

Jasmine is from tropical Borneo. She loves traveling, fashion and all things lifestyle.

3 thoughts on ““You’ve changed!””

  1. This reminds me of when I just went into college and my high school best friend told me I’ve changed. I did change the moment I started college and that lead to us drifting apart and stuff. I have to say it’s also because I wanted to try something new and being in a new environment allowed me to just go out and explore and I found out things about myself that I never realized in high school. Our friendship went on to be like a roller coaster ride but in the end we both realized that change is fine and because of our differences now, we learn to accept each other because of our difference. :)

    1. Sucks that you and your friend had a fall out but it’s great that it turned out fine in the end! Change is a scary yet exciting thing, we just need to find which side we’re on that will either determine whether we would accept it or not. :)

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