When your help is not needed, stop helping.

Dear Jasmine,

I have a friend who keeps fucking her life up non-stop and whenever I try to help her, she refuses my help and even gets angry at me for poking into her business when I was just trying to make everything right for her! She’s ungrateful and stubborn, and worse of all, she doesn’t know that she’s fucking her life up and others around her! I am just trying to be the nice friend by trying to help her get on her two feet again, but she rejects my help. What should I do?

From, Hopeless friend of another hopeless friend.

Dear hopeless friend of another hopeless friend,

First of all, you are a fucking awesome friend for helping your friend out. Secondly, you should stop being nice, at least, to this particular friend, and move on with your life! There are three types of people in this world; 1) people who wants help, 2) people who doesn’t want help but wants it after a while and 3) people who never want help, ever, and anyone who tries to help ‘fix’ them is just annoying. So you now know which of the three your friend belongs to.

I always tell myself (and friends) that there is no point helping someone who does not want to be helped. You will only make yourself more sad and angry when your advice fall on deaf ear. Instead of helping, you’re making everything way worse than it already is, especially your relationship with your friend.

So if you treasure this friend of yours and your friendship, as much as it pains you, it’s time for you to move on and move out of their life, or at least, move out of their problems. And believe me, you’re not a bad friend for not being there, you tried and failed. Their refusal to accept your help is your cue to stop helping, think about it!

Instead of putting so much time and energy on this one friend, why not put it on another friend who would appreciate your suggestions/advice more? I bet they would be more than grateful to receive your words of wisdom.

*wink*

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