“Maybe it’s a centipede!“ She screamed out, almost excited that she finally ‘solved’ the mystery.
“It wasn’t! How can a centipede go into my flats and ball itself up? Ouchhhh!! What the fuck man! This is so fucking painful!!!!” I said, while shaking my right hand crazily hoping that it would numb the pain even for a little while. It didn’t. In fact, it got worse. I can feel a watery substance in my index finger slowly flowing around it. Then it hit me, it must be the venom. But of what?
I screamed and swore. I swore and screamed. All in the confinement of Tracy’s little silver Perodua Viva.
“Wait, let me call him.” She takes out her phone and searches for his number. “Hello, Hazli, Jasmine got bitten by a centipede! Come out quick!”
“What are you saying!!! We haven’t confirmed that it’s a centipede just yet! What if it’s something else! We can’t just assume!” I thought to myself but was too distracted by the pain to mouth it out.
He came running to the door and stood there, trying to make sense what was happening. Poor guy. Just minutes ago we were saying our goodbyes, and he were are again at “Hello” or rather, “Hi, I didn’t leave your house, I just got fucking bitten by something and I don’t know what it is!”
All the sudden, she screams and jumped onto her driver seat. “Something jumped on me! The centipede jumped on me!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!”
I thought her paranoia was making her scream but the moment she jumped onto her seat and screamed, “SPIDER!!!! HAZLI!!! KILL THE SPIDER!!!”, I knew that that was my cue to run out from the car, shoeless or not.
“Ahhhh.. Spider. That would make sense actually.” I said to myself as I imagine a spider balling up in my shoe and having me stupidly poking it.
She switched on the ceiling light of her car and there it was, a spider. He came out from the house quickly and tried to search for the spider.
“I can’t see! I don’t have my glasses on! Where is it????” He says. “THERE! THERE! Ahhhhhh!!!!!” She screams.
I popped my head into the car and look at where she pointed. There it was, THE SPIDER. It wasn’t moving, it was probably too scared to move as three giants in front of it was moving, screaming and pointing. He was holding a shoe to hit it, but I stopped him.
“WAIT! Let me take a picture of it first! Maybe they would know what type of spider this is!!!” SNAP! And then he smacked it.
“Is it dead yet?!!!” She asked. “It’s gone!” He replied.
She went out of the car screaming while I screamed in pain. I needed to go to the doctor and fast!
We hopped on to his car and drove to the nearest 24-hour clinic. On the way there, I was imagining them amputating my finger off and of my death due to the venom. Then the pain kicked in. Only this time, it was so painful that I started crying.
He panicked and started to calm me down. She did not join in the calming me down, but instead, was more worried of the baby spiders that would potentially be born in her car.
We reached the clinic and I rushed in. The doctor asked me what happened and I said, “I was bitten by a spider!!!” while holding my index finger up. He chuckled, humoured by the fact that I was bitten by a tiny spider. Assumptions. “A spider?” He asked. “Yes! I think it’s poisonous! Wait, I have a picture!”
I took out my camera and showed him the picture. His face was surprised. “I can’t do anything for you right now, I don’t have an anti-spider venom medicine. You should go to the hospital for this. Don’t worry, I don’t think this is a dangerous spider.” As if that’s going to make me feel any better :/
We rushed to the hospital and went straight to the emergency section. We reached the first counter and they asked us casually, “What is wrong?”
“She was bitten by a very BIG spider! It was like this…” She put her hands up and used her fingers to make a circle by joining both her index finger and thumb. They chuckled.
“A spider? Really????” They must’ve thought to themselves. “Wait! We have pictures!” She said while nudging me to take the camera out.
The moment they saw the picture, their faces changed from being condescending to shocked. “Wait here,” One of them took my camera and went into a room only to return to stamp the word ‘TRAUMA‘ in red ink onto my registration paper. A nurse came to see me, took my pulse and blood pressure and told me to go to the Green Zone.
“Jasmine!” A doctor called out. I went into the room while she followed behind. We sat beside the doctor and noticed a medical dictionary beside him. “Probably a new guy,” I thought to myself. He asked me a few questions and finally told me to follow a nurse to get my jab.
I don’t like jabs, who does? But I knew this was coming. I have to not die.
The nurse searched for my vein and poke the syringe in. “It’s not going in,” she said. Then she took the needle out and poke my other hand. This happened for the next five times (yes, FIVE times of being poked because they couldn’t find my vein. @!$%%^$@#@!!!).
The third poke however was the most painful one because it literally jolted my fingers. I think they hit the pain nerve because I felt like my fingers were burning.
“You should write about this in your blog!” He said, almost excitedly.
It was not only a painful experience to be poked FIVE times, but I felt like a ‘thing’ they can experiment on. It’s not nice to hear nurses saying things like,
“Ahhh.. This one (vein) is pretty. This will work.”
“Damn, it didnt! Let’s try another one!”
“Sorry, this doesn’t happen too often.”
GREAAATTTT. Something I want to hear :/
After finally finding the suitable vein and poking it, my blood suddenly gushed into the syringe and the first thing I said was, “Hey! That’s my blood! Pretty cool!” Lol. Well, it was! Everyone laughed.
The put in the first drug first, and then a second one and finally, before putting in the third one, they told me that the last one will make me sleepy.
After the jab (Oh sorry, jabS I mean.), we said our thank yous and went to the parking lot. I was really surprised that the medicine kicked in very quickly because I felt sleepy and my body started getting weak.
On the way back, I was telling them that the bite reminded me of cartoons.
“It was like… I was imagining a small cartoon character (Tom?) biting the ass of a bigger cartoon (Jerry?) because it felt like a little person was biting me when that happened. That was the instant thought that came into my mind and I wanted to laugh the moment I got bitten but I was in so much pain that I just couldn’t laugh.”
Then slowly, she started laughing at the back. I didn’t understand why she laughed, why it was so funny. I got so angry, I felt insulted. Then he started laughing too. I started crying because it felt as if they were making fun of me while I was being serious. Then I started laughing too.
I laughed and cried at the same time and then it hit me, I am high on drugs (a medically prescribed drugs, mind you). It was such a surreal experience to be experiencing two types of emotions simultaneously. I was baked! Can you imagine! :S
Then I became normal again upon reaching home and the numbness and pain went down.
I was so happy that my finger did not get cut off but I am annoyed that I cannot find out what spider it was.
But then again, I’m still alive!!!!
And no, I did not turn into Spiderwoman. -_-