Why I hate the word ‘Virgin’.

Virginity these days are becoming nothing. It bares no meaning and no significance. It is because of this ‘nothingness’ that it became something the moment everyone realized that you have not ‘gotten rid’ of this something from you or that you have ‘gotten rid’ of it when you’re not supposed to do that. Ahhh virginity. It’s such a complicated thing and I hate it very much! I hate the very concept of virginity and virgins that society’s role in making you not forget your place with (or without) it.

It’s stupid. It’s sexist. Most of all, it is the cause of every girl feeling dirty and unwanted the moment she ‘loses’ her virginity!

“Are you still a virgin??”

“Oh! You’re not a virgin anymore???”

“Does he know that you’re not a virgin anymore?”

“Did you hear? ___ is not a virgin!!”

“___ lost her virginity!!!”

Everyone seems crazy to know about everyone else’s sex lives these days. Who’s fucking who? Who’s getting more ass than who? Who is not a virgin? Who is the slut? It’s fucking annoying! So what if the person is not a ‘virgin’? What’s it to you? 

Here are the reasons why I hate the word ‘VIRGIN’ and ‘VIRGINITY’.

1. It’s sexist

Boys losing their virginity.

“Dude! You got laid! Woohooo! Congratulations, you are finally a man!”

Girls losing their virginity.

“What? You lose your virginity? Are you crazy! Whoever will want to marry you now! Did you ever think of that?!”

2. It makes the girl seemed dirty

The word ‘virgin’ gives you an idea of someone pure and clean, so the moment someone is not a virgin anymore, an image of a dirty, not so innocent, used up person come into the picture. For someone to look at themselves as being ‘used’ and that nobody would like them, it’s sad!

3. Judgmental pricks

The moment you are declared as a ‘non-virgin’, people have a sudden interest in your sex/love life and make up stories in their heads (or to people) about you.

“Oh, I bet she has sex with tons of guys now! What a slut!”

“Oh, you’re not a virgin eh?” *to self* “Yes! A new girl to fuck!”

“Have you forgotten God? How could you!”

But of course, I’m sure that this doesn’t happen to everybody. I know there are sane people out there who thinks that this type of thinking is fucking ridiculous!

But anyway, that’s why I hate the word ‘virgin’ with all my might! It’s a sexual double standard that causes numerous psychological and physical damage to little girls and women who are victims of it. 

“Double standards like this create issues of lowered self-esteem, negative body image, and even depression in women. It can also cause physical problems such as inability to obtain sexual arousal and even inability to obtain orgasm due to the psychological fear of being labeled a loose woman.”

~ Excerpt from ‘Studs and Jezebels: How Sex Standards Hurt You

As a girl growing up, we’ve been told over and over again to ‘take care’ of our virginity, that it is the most precious gift we have ever owned that makes us pure. So imagine how devastated a girl must feel like the moment they explore the wonders of sex. All the sudden, they become ‘dirty’ because they’re not ‘pure’ anymore. And suddenly, the world makes it their business to start going all up on her face and calls her dirty and slutty for experiencing sex. Suddenly, we’re not special anymore because we have ‘sacrificed’ our virginity, this extremely sacred thing that we’ve held on for ever so long.

It’s utter bullshit.

And here is a boy who all his life, he’s waiting to get laid because it seems normal to get laid, even before marriage and it’s something celebrated. They don’t think twice about tattering their ‘purity’. Fuck that. What purity? Fucking someone is a right of passage!

I’m sure not many guys feel like that and I am sort of generalizing, but the fact of the matter is, girls are pressured to ‘take care’ of their virginity more than boys. Instead of being celebrated, girls are shamed and made fun of for losing their virginity! For having sex! I mean, even thinking about celebrating a girl’s achievement to finally having sex is fucking insane! Why must you be celebrated to have sex??? You are such a slut!


This whole virgin/non-virgin thing goes both ways too! Yes, a girl is pressured to ‘take care’ of their virginity, but boys don’t have it easy too! As a male, because of this insane urge by society and media to ‘have sex so that you will be a man’, boys are forced to act upon it or they will be forever doomed to be stuck as a boy and not a man.

It’s fucking ridiculous!

The moment your friends know that you are still a virgin even after university and mid way through your life, they will make fun of you. Apparently being 40 years old, a male and a virgin seems to society that you are pathetic and sad. Admit it. Just the very thought of it made you chuckled, I know I did. I guess it works the same way with women too. Once you reach a certain ‘expiry date age’, things just go sour for you.

You could always say that sex is a choice, that you will exercise it when you’re ready, but it’s hard to deny that at the back of your mind, you feel pressured to do it because society expects you to as a man. Because of this, you don’t hear a lot of men telling their partners or their friends that they’ve never had sex before because they’re shy or ashamed by it, when they shouldn’t.

I personally think that it’s extremely sexy for a guy to admit that he has never had sex before because the thought that I could and would ‘teach’ them things is such a turn on!


Sex is such a huge adult step for anybody and it should be celebrated. It is and feels fucking amazing! But of course, sex should come naturally and not because of force or peer pressure or because you think it’s ‘cool’ to have sex. If that’s how you think, it just shows that you are not ready to have sex.

Enjoy the wonders or sex or non-sex. Don’t be afraid to embrace your ‘virginity’ or ‘non-virginity’. Ignore what society wants you to do or not do with your body because at the end of the day, it is you who is keeping it alive and satisfied, not them. Most importantly, stop judging people on whether they have or don’t have sex, it’s none of your business. You have your life and they have yours, color your own life, don’t just sit there and look at people colouring their own lives. It’s fucking depressing!

For those who do intent to ask someone out of curiousity, here’s a little suggestion. Instead of asking if someone is a virgin or not, ask them instead if they have ever had sex. Or better yet, don’t ask at all. It ain’t you fucking business in the first place. HMPH!

Food for thought?

Author: Jasmine

Jasmine is from tropical Borneo. She loves traveling, fashion and all things lifestyle.

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