I am a Malaysian and I love Malaysia and Malaysians as a whole. Unfortunately however, there are small things about my fellow Malaysians, and dare I say it, myself as a Malaysian that I don’t like and should stop doing. Thus, this is where this list comes in.
Top 5 Things Malaysians Should Stop Doing!
1. Being proud of our ‘Malaysian Timing’.
Fucking annoying invention ever, I swear! Whoever invented this term needs huge slap on the butt. I hate that everyone use this as a reason for being late. It’s not cute or cool to be late regardless of whether it’s a ‘Malaysian thing’ or not! You’re late and you should be punished for it by having everybody glare at you with utter disappointment. What’s worse is that people are proud to be late for they are now ‘true Malaysians’ and even make fun of people who are early! How lah Malaysians want to maju like this?
2. Saying “on the way” when you’re not really ‘on the way’.
Friend: “Oi. Where are you?”
You: “On the way! On the way!”
Friend: “You’re still in bed aren’t you?”
Doesn’t matter if you’re still on the bed, in the bathroom, sitting down somewhere or in deep slumber, when someone calls you and asks you where you’re at, saying “on the way” is a sin. Whether the reason is that we don’t want to hurt their feelings or that we simply do not want to be shamed for being late, when you say “on the way”, mean it. Impress us with your ability of really being ‘on the way’.
3. No courtesy on the road.
Malaysians have an ability to be total bitches on the road.
- Drivers are notorious for not giving way to other drivers
- Ignoring other drivers existence when not giving ways to other drivers to cut in
- Driving faster when seeing another driver trying to get out of a parking or junction instead of slowing down
- Not saying thank you when other driver give way
- Driving really fast on the slow lane
- Honking at any slight delay by other drivers when the light turns green. (No patience!)
- Honking at drivers who take their time leaving a parking space despite having to wait for just a short while.
- Taking their sweet time to leave a parking space
- Talking on the phone while driving hence not paying attention to road
- Not putting up the signal sign when turning to a junction or roundabout
- Road bullying
- Motorcyclists and drivers who race and/or do stunts on the road, endangering other drivers and padestrians
The list is endless!
4. Asking or wondering about someone’s ‘race’ all the bloody time.
This happens especially when I moved to KL. Every time I get into a taxi, the first thing that taxi driver would do is to ask what race I am as if to decide how they should ‘treat’ me according to my race. It is not only limited in taxis too but practically everywhere else. Because I do not look like the typical ‘three main races of Malay, Chinese and Indian’, often times, people are confused and would question me. This happens to anybody too, especially if you look ‘mixed’. It gets really annoying sometimes especially when people insist in putting you in the ‘Malay, Chinese and Indian’ category just because your mixed race do not make sense to them.
Man: “What is your race?”
Woman: “I am mixed of Kadazan, Irish, Korean and Indian.”
Man: “Ah, so you’re Indian lah!”
Woman: “No, no. I’m 50% Kadazan, 20% Irish, 20% Korean and 10% Indian. I’m pretty mixed.”
Man: “Why make so complicated. Say lah you Indian, done! Or Kadazan, done!”
Woman: “Fine. I’m mostly Kadazan.”
Man: “But in Malaysia there are only Malay, Chinese and Indian. So safe to say that you’re Indian lah!”
5. Being ignorant of Sabah and Sarawak.
“Do they have roads where you came from?”
“Is Sabah and Sarawak a part of Malaysia?”
“Do you speak Malay there?”
“Are you Indonesian because you sure sound like one!” (No hate for the Indonesians though, ignorant people mistake us all the time, fucking annoying :/)
“But you don’t look Malay, Chinese or Indian! Are you sure you’re Malaysian?”
“Do you live on trees?”
“You don’t sound like us.”
“Don’t you have your own language or something?”
“Omg! What language is that!! It sounds so weird!”“Do they have malls there? Or clubs? What do you do for fun there?”
“What TV channels do you guys have? Do you have Astro there? Or Internet at least?”
“I bet you see orang utans there all the time since you live in the jungle!”
“Sabah is 2.5 hours away by flight?! I always thought that you could just drive there!”
I wish I could tell you that these questions and statements are made up, but they’re not. They are actual questions and statements that my friends, family and I get from Malaysians and tourists/visitors living in Peninsular Malaysia. But of course, not everyone is clueless about Sabah and Sarawak and even if some of them are, at least they try not to be rude about it. Some people are just plain horribly rude! Those people are the annoying ones!
Top 5 Things Malaysians Should NEVER EVER Stop Doing!
1. Speaking ‘lah’, ‘mah’ etc…
2. Changing accents when speaking with friends of different ethnicity
Because of our extremely mixed background and friends, we are able to adapt into each other’s accents when needed. What’s interesting about Malaysians is that we all have a neutral English accent, but when we are mixed with our ‘own’ people or with someone who has a very thick (Chinese, Indian, Malay etc…) accent, we in turn switch to the appropriate accent. I was talking to my sister’s boyfriend the other day using our ‘neutral’ accent, but when he talked to his mom on the phone, his Indian accent came on! When I talk to my Chinese friends, my “mah”, “hor”, “ah” etc… comes out. I love it!
Don’t get me started on my accent when I speak to a non-Malaysian! Boom! Some American + Australian + British accent would come out, courtesy of Astro’s channels :D
3. Having a nice Mamak session
Mamak, bringing friends together for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, later dinner, supper, late supper, after supper supper and post-party since like ever and with cheap food too!
4. More halal restaurants (i.e., Malay-Chinese restaurants, halal dim sum restaurants etc…)
Although Malaysia is a Muslim country, our love for food goes way beyond that. Hence the creation of fusion food! Malay-Chinese, Thai-Malay, halal dim sum, beef bak kut teh… Dude! The boundaries of good food are bent through fusion!
5. A very rojak (mixed) bunch of friends
Friends. MIXED friends. Need I say more?
Sabahans man, can you pin point your finger as to who is Malay, Chinese or Indian? Even if you can, you might be wrong because we’re mixed as hell with a huge pinch of Kadazan, Dusun, Brunei, Bajau, Murut etc…
KEEP BEING AWESOME MALAYSIANS ;)