Before I go to the things I cannot do, let’s talk about the things that I can do and would often do.

Cussing

I cuss like a choo choo train. It’s normal for me to go out and scream, “FUCK!” or “SHIT!” or “FUCKER!” or you know, whatever. I try to minimize cussing in public these days though. I find that many people (surprise surprise) find it insulting and I am not someone who thinks that cussing is cool but rather an expression of well, my expression and if someone can’t handle it which is completely understandable, then I will respect that.

As much as I would like to go around, “FUCK WHAT THEY THINK!”, I can’t as that would be incredibly insensitive and irresponsible of me.

Talk about sex and sexuality openly

I learned as a teenager that other teenagers (and adults too!) get their information on sex and sexuality wrong. You know someone’s knowledge of sex is limited and unreal when they based it on porn. You can watch it as reference to practice and/or masturbate, sure, but you can’t expect to be presented with a 6-inch, clean shaven, circumcised, beautifully-structured penis that would make you moan and groan in completely desire once inserted in your vagina. Most of the time, the opposite happens and you’d just lay there in pure disappointment for not feeling all the incredible emotions that you saw on pornography. Boo-hoo!

This is why we need to get real information and be unafraid to ask. We need to start asking what we do not know or not sure about.

  • No, you are not obliged to let guys cum in your mouth and face just because you see it in porn.
  • No, you do not have to have a big penis to pleasure a girl.
  • Yes, you do have to stimulate the girl either by rubbing her clitoris, going down on her or fondle with her breasts to turn her on, don’t just fuck her.
  • Yes, turning a girl on is not as easy as you see on porn and different girls have different ‘switches’. You can just try one switch for every girl.
  • The proper terms are penis, vagina, anus and breasts, not cock, pussy, asshole and boobs. Get it right.
  • Yes, you should tell a girl that you’re uncomfortable or that it hurts or tickle when she starts slapping your balls or eating it whole. (By the way, ew.)
  • No, don’t feel bad that you’re 20 and haven’t had sex yet. Stop pressuring yourself just because society tells you that you should lose your virginity when you’re like 10. WTF society?!

REAL INFORMATION PEOPLE!

Cover any uncomfortableness with a dash of fabulousity

I would like to think that I’m good at sarcasm especially when comments about my weight are thrown in. I hate that. I mean, I get it, I’m a big girl, there is no need to remind me of my size. “Oh Jasmine, you’ve grown fatter since I saw you!” “This is not fat, this is sexiness being oozed out. Have you seen my breasts and ass? BAM!”

I mean, why not comment on something totally not my weight? Be different. “Oh Jasmine, you’ve got incredible writing skills that is beyond your age and even if I don’t agree some of the things you said, I am proud to know you personally.” BAM!

SO, here are things I CANNOT do.

Putting up the middle finger

Sorry guys, I can’t. It feels too vulgar and if I had to, which I often find that I do, I’d bring my energy from every part of my body to put up that middle finger. Isn’t it funny? I can cuss, but I can’t physically cuss. How pathetic!

Can’t stop overthinking that I’m good enough for something or someone

I cannot stop overthinking how useless I can be sometimes and it’s true. I get really awkward and tense when I talk about having a boyfriend because I tend to think that people would think that I’m too fat or ugly to actually be in a relationship despite how incredibly awesome I am. (Yes, I am aware of that.) I always hear people say things like, “Those people aren’t  attractive and even they have partners and I don’t!”. There are times where I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy just because I am a certain size. It’s messed up, I know.

I fucking blame the media for this!

You

Get it? :D

Okbye!

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2 thoughts on “The things that I can and cannot do.

  1. OMG you literally hit the nail on the head about how I fell about my weight. I get awkward and tense just thinking about ever having a boyfriend because seriously, who would go out with me when they can have someone else a couple of sizes down.
    I’m only 18, so I haven’t really started the whole ‘going out and meeting people thing’ and I don’t think people would want to know me because of my physical appearance. Pretty much all of my friends are are normal sizes (flat stomach, non-flabby arms and no thunder-thighs) but they don’t believe they are very pretty or they call themselves fat, which makes me want to scream at them “Shut the f* up you don’t even know what it feels like to be fat you skinny b*”. I just want to clarify that i love my friends to pieces! They don’t really get how mentally draining it is to go out, even to the shops because most of the time I think that people are judging me even though I know they aren’t.
    Anyway the whole being social thing is such a mental issue for me because of the whole weight thing and yeah..

    1. Hi Jaime, thanks for commenting! I get what you mean too! It’s super annoying but unfortunately true that us big girls (or those who do not fall under the ‘conventional beauty types’ do have to work twice as hard to get noticed. I won’t lie! So stay patient and know that your time and being is worth being noticed and respected, so never settle for less! Even when it comes to guys! Your day will come, don’t worry! Love is like a butterfly, the more you catch it, the more it flies away but if you just stay still, it will come to you :)

      About your friends, well, insecurity is a bitch. We all have it, no matter how ridiculous they may sound like to us. I too often look at my friends and cringe whenever they tell me their problem and I’ll be all, “but you’re perfect!”. However, it’s true when they say that nobody is perfect. They may look perfect, but their problems and insecurities are beyond all the perfection in the world.

Sprinkle me

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