In a nutshell: This post is about being grateful for being alive. However, at any point of your life, that (being alive) will be taken away from you, so you better not fuck it up and live life to the fullest. No YOLO bullshit where you do really stupid things just because ‘you only live once’, but REAL things that makes your life worthwhile.
Warning: Cussing and possible ranting and sarcasm in post (if you didn’t already get the hint in the ‘in a nutshell’ memo lol).
So lately, I don’t know. I’ve been feeling this urge to want to do shit loads of things but problem is, I don’t know how to go about them. It’s no secret that I want to pursue my Master’s degree and that is definitely something I would love to do, but I have no idea how to go about it. Finances are a bit slim these days (haven’t they always?).
I guess part of this urge is due to the realization that we are all going to be fucked one day.
Let me explained.
I’ve read so many news, SO SO many news over the past few years about how death or accidents happen just like that. It doesn’t matter whether you are the prettiest or most successful woman around who recently had (or about to have) a beautiful fairy tale wedding or that you’re this normal person living your normal average life… It doesn’t matter, because SHIT.JUST.HAPPENS and that’s just SUPER scary to think about!
Reading all these news about death happening is depressing. I mean, yeah, I know death happens but you’d always think that it happens to old and sick people, but then it doesn’t. It happens to everyone.
Whenever I hear stories of someone younger than me die whether due to illness or sudden death, I get extremely sad. It’s the same thing when you realized that people your age are getting married (I’m THAT old?) or someone younger than you becomes this really important celebrity (I’m THAT fucking old????). So hearing someone younger than you passing on, it just gets a little bit weird and sad because you’d think that death often (and exclusively) happens to older people. Whether natural or not, we’ve always been conditioned to think that death or being sick doesn’t happen to the young, you know?
It’s always, “Oh, I can pursue my dreams in the future. I’m still young!” But you never know!
It’s more depressing when they (the young ones) choose to die. Honestly, I’m not entirely sad because of their choice (to take their own lives, though still very horrible!) but I’m sad about the story being what led them to that choice. People can be fucking assholes sometimes. I wonder if the bullies feel remorse for driving someone to kill themselves.
But really though – and I apologize if this is not your regular short post – I feel so blessed with the life I have right now; blessed enough to not fuck it up. I mean, sure, I can be a rude and ungrateful to many close people in my live (I’M SORRY) and sure, I don’t have a perfect life, but I’m still alive aren’t I? …And I’m doing and admiring the things that I love. I’m still here to feel and appreciate everything – even the little things, like the breeze that’s hitting my face right now or the fact that I have all this alone undisturbed time for myself at work.
I wake up everyone morning thanking my stars that I am still around; that I’m still alive and well. This feeling makes me be ready to take over the world – especially on days like today (hence why you see me writing long or writing anything at all).
So basically, what I’m trying to say is… (before I got rudely cut off by some scam phone call by a guy who says he was from the bank which apparently after Googling the number, found out that it was a scam!!)
BE THANKFUL, BE HAPPY, BE POSITIVE, BE AMAZING, BE GRATEFUL, JUST BE.
As a young adult now, I’ve learnt to not make people like me. I mean, I still do that but I make sure that those people are positive people, people who are worth hanging out with, people who are worth sacrificing for. I eventually learn to stop living up to what people want me to be, but have them fit in in what I want a friend to be like instead. (does that make sense?)
I mean, this rule also applies to dating. If I was ever dating someone new again (I’m currently in a relationship now, but you know, IF), I would stop being worried about what that person would think of me and have them be worried whether or not I will like them. Judging from past experiences, it was me who was disappointed with the men I meet instead of them being disappointed with me. So me = WIN!
SO SCREW THE WORLD. SCREW NEGATIVITY. Just be you.
Just pursue whatever you want to pursue, be whomever you want to be and take whatever you want to take, because honey, you’ll be dead tomorrow anyway.
(Again, no YOLO shit ok. None of that. Change the world, make good choices.)