I have a new YouTube channel!

I have a new YouTube channel!

You heard that right! I’ve been making YouTube videos!

I’ve been blogging since I was 11 (yep!) and started making YouTube videos for quite some time now, but never really got into it seriously. Well now, I plan to make my YouTube gig serious hence this channel! I even got myself a new camera so you know shit is getting real!

The main purpose of this channel is to exude positivity really. I want to be funny and wacky, show people my personality, and at the same time inspire others.

Here’s my latest video! It’s a collaboration video with a really good friend of mine, Tara!

And here is my first video which is about faking confidence!

I plan to post videos every Saturday and hopefully, gradually, post more weekly. Do subscribe if you would like to watch my future videos!

I’m so excited to share this journey with you guys!! x

Self discovery means throwing yourself everywhere.

Self discovery means throwing yourself everywhere.

Okay so, I have 4 jobs now.

Yes, FOUR. How? Why? Well, I think it has a lot to do with me trying to not freak myself out as much for not knowing that I want to do in life.

People say you tend to figure out about things after graduating from university. Sure, but not for everyone. For the most part, some of us are still figuring out and trying to see where we fit and stuff.

So how do you figure out?

...by drinking someone's overpriced drink? Perhaps!
…by drinking someone’s overpriced drink? Perhaps!

I believe in waiting for the next big thing to come knocking at your door, but don’t wait too long. Reality check, it may or may not come. Sometimes you get a big break, other times, you need to do a lot in order to get (and know) that big break. It’s better to go out there and find it, what I think.

For the second half of 2014, right after university, I was basically figuring things out. I was traveling a lot (‘traveling’ meant going back to my second home; KL – I was and still is based in KK) despite not having much money, though I saved as much as I can from my monthly pocket money thanks to my parents – less than RM300 a month. Other times when I’m back in KK, I would stay at home, a lot, and do the normal things that jobless people do – eat, sleep, rave, repeat.

Have you ever been so bored that you find posing with big ass fruits more exciting?
Have you ever been so bored that you find posing with big ass fruits more exciting?

When December rolled in and I basically still didn’t know what I wanted to do – I mean, I had an idea but you know, I wasn’t sure – I knew I had to start the new year with at least a paying job. So I managed to secure a part time job and one thing let to another, I now have 4 part time jobs that covers a few hours of my weekends and weekday nights. Pretty insane but pretty cool  too actually.

Now, whenever people ask me what I do for a living, I can proudly say I have 4 jobs; part time jobs, sure, but jobs. That’s always a great conversation starter, hah!

Bare in mind, if you do plan to have multiple jobs (part time or not), make sure you can keep up to it! I survived Week 1, so I guess that’s okay. (I GUESS!)

My 2015 resolution is ‘GROWTH‘.

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Honestly, I don’t know what growth I am aiming for this year, but at least I am getting paid for it. Wink wink! Okay, bad example, but you know what I mean.

I am still new at this whole 4 jobs thing, but I’ve friends who were in the same boat as me and they pretty much threw themselves out there and one thing led to another, they found their ‘calling’ and the rest is history! It’s that snowball effect, you know. You start here, then you get to know some people, get into some things and liked it, pursue it further and make it into a passion. Now one of them earn a 5 figure income! WHOA!

It’s all about experimenting, people! Keeping things exciting ;)

"Look ma! I'm on a brochure!!" - A job in the marketing department of my university led me to be a talent scout for brochures to eventually be THE talent! Something to add to the resume eh!
“Look ma! I’m on a brochure!!” – A job in the marketing department of my university led me to be a talent scout for brochures to eventually THE talent! Something to add to the resume eh!

That nails tho! Hehe.

Anyway, wherever you are and whatever you do this point of your life, and no matter whether you’ve figured things out or have not, I wish you the all the best! 

Review: Cabrine Solibun Art

Review: Cabrine Solibun Art

Three months ago, Cabrine Solibun Art (Instagram: @misscabrine) celebrated their 1st year anniversary and as a treat to their legion of fans (over 5k of them to be exact!), they organized an Instagram-wide competition.

I’ve been a great fan of theirs ever since they started and have been following closely (though quietly) at their progress as one of Kota Kinabalu’s up and coming make-up artist to watch out for. What started with just Cabrine alone, slowly expanded to a team of three with Claire and Jacinta coming on board.

Not wanting to miss this wonderful opportunity to score some free and exclusive ‘me time’, I decided to give the competition a try.

Caption, wishes and slogan-type competitions are a bit tricky as you never knew what the organizers are looking for, so you got to think outside of the box. I figured, I should take a different spin to my ‘wish’. Perhaps, I should write a poem! Rhyming is fun and I’m good at that, I thought. Also, instead of only praising the team and giving them well wishes, why not I talk about their services and what they have achieved in the past year, it is after all, their one year anniversary and their achievements should definitely be highlighted and celebrated!

So, of I go. I sat in the dining table with my trusty pen and paper and rhymed. Finally, I got it.

The content of the poem was not hard to cough out because as an avid fan, I naturally know what their services are. What was hard was rhyming it and of course, the dreaded wait for the reveal of the winner.

A month later, it was time for the big reveal and to be honest, I was excited! I knew I had it in the bag. It’s a poem! It’s something different, even if I didn’t win, I should at least get a mention! Funny thing was that when the day finally came, I completely forgot about it! It wasn’t until a friend tagged me and wrote, “Congratulations Jasmine!” that I knew what she meant! I was in the car when I saw that comment and quickly checked Instagram and there it was, a video by them revealing the winner and my face was plastered all over it! I squealed in excitement and proceeded to replay the 15-second video over and over again. I couldn’t believe my eyes!

I texted Cabrine Solibun Art and informed them of my existence (and excitement). A date was set.

30th September 2014, 11am. 

And so I waited. Patiently.

The excitement built up tremendously, especially on the night before the appointment. I couldn’t contain myself and told my mom about it. To my dismay, 30th September was not a Monday (as I thought my appointment was on a Monday), it’s actually a Tuesday. I got so excited that I got my dates mixed up! Annoyed, I had to contain my excitement for yet another day.

FINALLY, TUESDAY! The real appointment date.

I reached the studio (it was a home-based studio which was a blessing as parking was a breeze!) 10 minutes earlier. I texted them to say I just reached and they replied back inviting me in. The moment I reached the door, it opened up and there was Claire. She invited me in and I saw Cabrine and Jacinta behind the counter. “Ahh these faces! I see them all the time on Instagram! They are Instagram celebrities!” I thought to myself.

They had me settled in and offered me tea as I sit on a plush red cushioned sofa decorated with various patterned cushions. They introduced themselves and congratulated me on winning. I felt awkward at first, being surrounded by strangers whom I had stalked on Instagram and here they are in person, and here I am, in their much raved-about studio! It was weird but very exciting! But as the tea sinked in, I finally got to relax a bit. I think that’s why spas and massage parlours offer you tea – to relax you. Well, that helped heaps!

Claire walked me through what we are going to do that afternoon. 5-hours of pampering was no joke, it’s tough work! The pampering session included spa, massage, facial and kudou (‘eyebrow’ in Kadazan) makeover; I can never get tired of these! I was told to take off all my accessories; my gold earrings, watch, jade bracelet and nose stud. The nose stud was the hardest to take out as it was a screwed-in type of stud and it has been there since the day I put it in – about 3 years ago! Cabrine explained to me that they will be using a high frequency machine during facial later on which negatively reacts to metal.

Firstly, SPA.

I shall give you a minute to soak in this picture and the fact that I had this all to myself for a good 20 minutes AFTER a great body scrub to exfoliate the dead skin cells on my body.

The body whole body exfoliate was done by my junior from primary school (PRIMARY SCHOOL, can you imagine!), Jacinta, who shared the same namesake as my sister. She has grown up to be such a lovely and beautiful young lady and I’m glad to meet her again after all these years. We never really talked when we were in school (I don’t think any of us were capable to have a decent conversation on life at just 12) but knew of each other’s existence, so it was so weird to have met again and now she’s touching my body. It’s like, “Hi, how are you! Oh okay, you will see me half naked, cool. Haha!

The body scrub was lovely! I enjoyed it and she did such a good job making my skin baby smooth again!

The dimly-lit spa room is filled with soft relaxing music and decorated with huge mirrors and flickering candles to provide its clients with a sense of luxury and relaxation. The beauty consultants make it a point to be silent as they massage their clients so that they can relax, but would not hesitate to talk to them if clients were to engage in a conversation, which was what I did.

I decided to break the silence by chatting with Cinta. She was extremely friendly and fun to talk to, which relaxed me a whole lot (as I am not really used to massages and spas and would naturally get awkward with people touching me).

After the whole body exfoliate, the massage bed was lifted up, exposing a bathtub right underneath it! I got excited when I saw rose petals in the water and they were beautiful! I carefully went into the bathtub and was pleased that the water temperature was perfect; not too cold or warm. They then left me alone for a good 20-minutes so that I could relax.

Note to curvy girls: Be prepared to have a back up plan the moment you get in to the bathtub as ‘islands’ start to form; a.k.a. boobs and belly (neither of which will be covered). So what do you do to cover them? In my case, I got creative with the flower petals and concealed some parts of my body just in case they would come in and check on me. Hehehehe.

Close enough.

Sure enough, Claire went in a few minutes later. Instead of coming in to check on me, she poured milk on me! Claire! What, why?!

I was not as calm as this lady, all I had in my mind was, “OMG! All that milk going to waste!”

However, don’t let her milk pouring moment confuse you, this is purely for beauty purposes and so in the name of beauty, I shall willingly sacrifice. Hehehehe. Milk spa, I was told, nourishes the skin making it smooth and glowy. I ain’t complaining!

After being left for a few minutes again (20 minutes in total in the bathtub), Claire and Cabrine came into the room and adviced me to take a shower. I excitedly told them that I got creative with my petals and put it to full use. Giggles ensued.

After a quick shower, I was presented with warm water. Paranoid of them waiting for me, I quickly gulped the water. “Palan-palan bah. No rush.” One of them said and I did. Noob mistake, I thought on my end. Pfft.

Next, MASSAGE.

Cabrine brought me to the massage space just outside the spa. I was told to lie on my chest whilest putting my head in the hole on the bed. “Ahhh… This looks familiar,” I told myself; an avid massage goer.  They covered me with comfy thick blankets which made me feel right at home. After some boob positioning and readjustments, a must so that I don’t squash myself to death, the massage began.

The massage was foreign to me. After being so used to oil-based massages, this dry and pressing-type massage was completely new! I learned later that the massage was a combination of Swedish massage (head to toe, full body relaxing massage) and pressure point massage where different pressure points on the body are pressed. The whole idea behind the massage is to basically to release stress and relax the body.

The massage was my favourite one of all because I was feeling really relaxed and rejuvenated, I loved it! During the massaging session, I got to know that it was Cabrine who massaged me; the lady who started it all!

Being a huge fan of Cabrine Solibun Art and someone who is often inspired by young female entrepreneurs, I thought that it was be wonderful to have a chat with her; asking her about how it all started as she massages me. Haha!

It was during secondary school that Cabrine’s talent for make-up was noticed as she was constantly called to put make-up for the choir and drama team of her school. It wasn’t until finishing school that she decided to take up Beauty Therapy in the prestigious Australian College of Beauty Therapy.

She said that although many would associate her as a make-up artist, make-up was only a unit she studied in college and that it is beauty therapy that became her main course. However, one cannot deny however that her talents in make-up is just as amazing!

After graduating from college, she came back to Sabah to set up her own make-up artist business where she goes house to house, or events to events or have her customers come to her own house. Her mom then suggested to convert the lower part of their house as Cabrine’s very own home studio. After practically building and renovating her studio by herself with the help of her supportive friends, Cabrine Solibun Art was finally born as of July 2013!

You should have seen this place in the beginning, it was empty! I bought everything one by one,” She says proudly.

After a fun chat with her, it was on to the next session, FACIAL.

The facial was also definitely one of my favourite too and it is part of the Pamper Me Facial package. It was Claire who did my facial and I have to be honest, I tend to get all panicked whenever people get so close to my face. However, I was a little bit more calm and relaxed in Claire’s hands – Claire, I was told, had more than 10 years of experience in the industry! I like that their facial was not just about putting different types of products on your face – good products too, mind you! – but they also massage your face. Just like my body, the face massage was also an ode to pressure points and relaxation and boy, was that squeeze and tap good!

At one point of the massage, my throat started acting out and I had to cough. I told Claire that and she quickly rubbed the gel off my face and offered me a cup of warm water which helped a lot! I was pleased and touched that she was concerned with my discomfort and was willing to stop half way to accommodate to me. That’s a 5 star service right there!

The facial was followed by extraction of white heads, black heads and oil seeds before heading for the high frequency service which basically uses a machine to sooth skin after the extraction and helps to heal pimples faster. After a quick but lovely neck massage, I was given the eye paraffin wax treatment which helps to increase blood circulation around the eyes and reduce eye puffiness. As they left me alone for a good few minutes to let the wax to sink in, I dozed off.

I was gently awaken by Claire as she wipes off the wax and mask off my skin and Cabrine as she massages the body butter onto my body as a finishing touch to the massage. The body butter is used to hydrate and nourish the skin.

Next, Kudou makeover!

The Kudou makeover table with hot wax in that metal thingy majig!

‘Kudou’ means brows in Kadazan language and Cabrine Solibun Art’s Kudou makeover is definitely a much raved-about service!

Visit their Facebook or Instagram (@misscabrine) for more pictures!
Visit their Facebook or Instagram (@misscabrine) for more pictures! (p.s.: This is not me, it’s just an example of one of their many fantastic job!)

Cabrine personally believe that thick brows are the way to go nowadays. “It (thick eyebrows) makes you look and feel younger than the thin ones. Over plucking of brows is a major no-no,” Cabrine adviced.

I had the brow wax service. It was my first time to have a wax (of any kind) before and I didn’t know what to expect. Cabrine told me it feels like a cellophane tape being ripped off of your skin and it did feel like that, to be honest! The pain is extremely bearable, though you could potentially be shocked for the first few times. If you have experienced tweezing or better yet, threading, then waxing would be nothing in comparison.

She then taught me how to fill in my brows which I thought was extremely helpful as I suck at drawing my brows. And then, it was done!!

Kudou makeover pain scale: 0.5 over 5! (the pain was barely there!)

Finally, FREEBIES!

The ending of my Kudou makeover marks the end of my 5-hour spa, massage, facial and brow treatment. And just when I thought I was told to go about my merry way, I was presented with a big red bag of goodies!

*SQUEELS!*

In it were some of the most raved about products on their site; the Kudou potion and Cabrine’s new business venture, I Heart Makeup’s famous Red Cherry fake lashes. I was overjoyed! I have always seen these being promoted on their Instagram and Facebook pages, but I didn’t know they would actually give me one!

Needless to say, I was a very VERY happy girl.


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OVERALL EXPERIENCE

Home-based services whether spas, massages, wedding houses etc have a bad reputation of being unprofessional and ‘normal’ – that there is nothing special about it. Unfortunately in Sabah, this form of service are very new and thus, are often questioned by many clients of their level of quality and professionalism.

I was however, beyond pleased with the services, quality, level of professionalism and attention that the ladies of Cabrine Solibun Art have given to me during my session with them. They were very quick to reply to all of my Whatsapp messages (seeing that they have over 5k likes on Instagram, I’d imagine that they’d be busy!) and was always available to answer all of my questions that I throw at them, even the silly ones. (Sorry, ladies!)

They go all out to ensure that I have the best experience with them, in terms of comfort and quality. The one thing that I noticed and appreciate very much was the level of noise in the studio to which they keep at the most minimal as possible by talking softly to each other as to not disrupt my relaxing session. Mind you, I was not a paying customer and that my session was a gift, but still, my every comfort and well-being was well taken cared off by these wonderful ladies. In fact, they even SHUT DOWN their whole studio for the entire time I was there so that I would not get interrupted during my session! If that’s not flattering, I don’t know what is!

Cabrine Solibun Art definitely exceeded my expectation. It is one thing to create an image for yourself online (on Facebook and Instagram for example) as a young, fresh and fun team that provides amazing services to your customers but it’s another to really upheld and practice what you preach!

Me with the ladies of Cabrine Solibun Art; Claire, Jacinta and Cabrine!

Overall, YES, I really enjoyed my session with them. YES, I would come back again especially for the Kudou makeover, I love that one! And a big fat YES, YOU SHOULD COME AND VISIT THEM TOO!

Location: Easy to find with map provided (though being familiar with the area helps a lot too) /ample parking spaces / a distance away from KK but very near to Donggongon.

Studio: Small yet homey / not as intimidating as many other professional spas or studios out there.

Beauty consultants: Friendly, kind, patient, mindful and sincere / ensure clients are comfortable and relaxed at all times / always willing to answer and inquiries that clients have/ not intimidating

Suggested services to try out: Kudou makeover and Pamper Me Facial (unfortunately, the Swedish massage is only available for their bridal spa package and not for individuals). Also, try out their make-up services for your events!

Overall rating: 10/10 (This rating is only for spa, massage, facial and kudou makeover)

The ladies of Cabrine Solibun Art; Claire, Cabrine and Jacinta.

THANK YOU LADIES FOR THE WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE AND CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 1ST ANNIVERSARY AND MANY MORE TO COME!!

XOXO

This is not your ordinary make-up post.

This is not your ordinary make-up post.

I love Make Up. Not because it makes me feel like a million bucks (or ringgit, if you’re into specifics) but mostly, it empowers me to seize my day.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

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All of us have different views on make-up. Some may say it’s necessary to look presentable, nice and approachable, less tired perhaps. Others may say that it ‘takes away’ the natural beauty of a person, making them dependent on make-up which will destroy every bit of their confidence without it.

No matter what your view is, it is hard to ignore the fact that make-up empowers its users, making them more confident of themselves than ever before, which for me is a positive thing.

I for one opt for a more natural make-up look as my day-to-day look – days when I have to meet people, not for a quick run to the kedai runcit. I’d put on minimal eyeshadows (natural tones or a faint black), just a tiny winged liner, mascara, eyebrows on and some colours on the lips.

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Make-up is meant to enhance your features, not hide it.

Sometimes, I’d go wild and put on a bright-coloured lipstick when I feel least excited about my day because I know that it’s not how I feel about myself that changes my mood, but how others feel of me upon seeing me. Somehow or rather, putting on a bright-coloured lipstick on myself changes the mood that I surround myself in. I get positive vibes from people, which in turn, made me feel positive too. It’s like one of those colour therapy thing, I think.

Granted, not many women feel the need to wear make-up all the time seeing that they could use their precious time to do other more useful things. Fair enough. Count me in. I’m not crazy about make-up, but I do love me some make-up to play with!

Plus, it saves me a WHOLE LOT OF MONEY when it comes to events.

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My make up during the masquerade ball back in college: I did this myself and saved RM50! (Bonus: That mask is only RM5.00 from Daiso!)
Did my own make-up for the character that I was playing during a musical that I performed in. I played the evil yet sexy Ursula.
Did my own make-up for the character that I was playing during my university-produced musical that I performed in. I played the evil yet sexy Ursula.
Halloween 2011.
Halloween 2011: I was a geisha with a sugar skull head. Confused much?

I read in an article once about this lady who worked from home and still put on make-up and nice clothes. It makes her feel presentable and ready to start the day, even if it was only at home. I find it extremely interesting when she said that her whole reason why she made herself look presentable is not meant for others to see, because there was nobody to ‘see’ her at home, but it is for her to feel more alive and ready for her to start her day, even if it means being at home while she’s at it.

I liked that idea a lot, however odd it may sound.

Make-up is a personal bond between you and it. It allows you to feel however you want to feel during the times you wish to feel however you would like to feel. (tongue twister much? Lol!)

I think it’s kind of like writing or blogging in general. Your need to have comments or likes should never outweigh your passion for writing, although however nice it is to have that bit of feedback.

You don’t have to have crazy skills to put make-up on yourself. Basics, is what I always tell myself. Know the basics. More importantly, actually owning some make-up would be a good start too! ;)

Why the word ‘fat’ will never be glamorous, to me at least.

Why the word ‘fat’ will never be glamorous, to me at least.

I’m a big girl. I’ve been big all my life. The only time when I wasn’t big was when I was a thin, frail toddler who would constantly fall sick, as mom would remember.

You see, as a big girl, I refer to myself a lot of names; plus size, curvy, curvaceous, vivacious etc (why must we label ourselves? So annoying!). But if there is one word I will not call myself, it’s ‘fat’.

No, I am not in denial. I am well aware that I am indeed fat. I have no problems with people calling me that, although I will twitch and feel the need to punch the person in the face, but I will never call myself that. It’s derogatory and as much as my fellow plus size sisters make it seem glamorous, make those who hurt them eat their heart out by embracing this derogatory term with pride, I for one find it extremely hard to join them in their embrace of the word, although how much of a supporter I am in the cause.

Believe me, I tried. I TRIED to like that word. I TRIED to incorporate it in my mind set and use it as form of witty comebacks for unwanted, unsolicited and stupid comments from people about my body. I did, I tried.

I hate society’s representation and stereotype of what a big girl should be like; easily bullied, low self-esteem, not sexy, not witty bla bla bla hence why I fight to break that stereotype. However, I find it hard to fight this stereotype if my fellow sisters keep using ‘fat’ as part of the fight. I understand why they do that, but it’s just hard, you know. WE understand why we use it, but do they understand the irony behind it too?

What I am trying to say is that while I rejoice the fight that women make for all plus size women out there, proudly calling us fat is a cause that I unfortunately think would not be a smart move especially if you’re dealing with other people who often do not feel strongly about what we feel strongly about. I just feel that by calling ourselves ‘fat’, we are helping them to reinforce the negative stereotype to which they put on us and while we may feel empowered, they may ridicule us even more.

I remember the other day I saw a beauty pageant that proudly fights for plus size women, but shamelessly call their pageant somewhere along the lines of ‘Fatgent: Pageant For All You Beautiful Fat Girls Out There’. Okay, maybe not exactly that, but I would imagine instead of applauds, people would laugh instead. Or ‘fatkini’. I don’t know you guys, I don’t buy it even though I loveeeee the idea behind it (and the beautiful designs!). Even for guys man, I feel for them. I saw a store in Giant called, ‘XXXXXXXXXL Store’. As much as, and this is me stereotyping, forgive me, think that men do not care much about the name, I find it demeaning and insensitive.

But you know, that’s just me. At the end of the day, I support body positive and feel that everyone have different ways of fighting for their own cause. Although it may not work for me, if it works for them then hey, , who I am to say otherwise? That is something that many of us should learn to understand I guess, huh? It feels like post-feminism you know, where you celebrate women and sexuality and stuff and other feminists (non-feminists as well) think that that’s just wrong and pushing women backwards.

The things that I can and cannot do.

The things that I can and cannot do.

Before I go to the things I cannot do, let’s talk about the things that I can do and would often do.

Cussing

I cuss like a choo choo train. It’s normal for me to go out and scream, “FUCK!” or “SHIT!” or “FUCKER!” or you know, whatever. I try to minimize cussing in public these days though. I find that many people (surprise surprise) find it insulting and I am not someone who thinks that cussing is cool but rather an expression of well, my expression and if someone can’t handle it which is completely understandable, then I will respect that.

As much as I would like to go around, “FUCK WHAT THEY THINK!”, I can’t as that would be incredibly insensitive and irresponsible of me.

Talk about sex and sexuality openly

I learned as a teenager that other teenagers (and adults too!) get their information on sex and sexuality wrong. You know someone’s knowledge of sex is limited and unreal when they based it on porn. You can watch it as reference to practice and/or masturbate, sure, but you can’t expect to be presented with a 6-inch, clean shaven, circumcised, beautifully-structured penis that would make you moan and groan in completely desire once inserted in your vagina. Most of the time, the opposite happens and you’d just lay there in pure disappointment for not feeling all the incredible emotions that you saw on pornography. Boo-hoo!

This is why we need to get real information and be unafraid to ask. We need to start asking what we do not know or not sure about.

  • No, you are not obliged to let guys cum in your mouth and face just because you see it in porn.
  • No, you do not have to have a big penis to pleasure a girl.
  • Yes, you do have to stimulate the girl either by rubbing her clitoris, going down on her or fondle with her breasts to turn her on, don’t just fuck her.
  • Yes, turning a girl on is not as easy as you see on porn and different girls have different ‘switches’. You can just try one switch for every girl.
  • The proper terms are penis, vagina, anus and breasts, not cock, pussy, asshole and boobs. Get it right.
  • Yes, you should tell a girl that you’re uncomfortable or that it hurts or tickle when she starts slapping your balls or eating it whole. (By the way, ew.)
  • No, don’t feel bad that you’re 20 and haven’t had sex yet. Stop pressuring yourself just because society tells you that you should lose your virginity when you’re like 10. WTF society?!

REAL INFORMATION PEOPLE!

Cover any uncomfortableness with a dash of fabulousity

I would like to think that I’m good at sarcasm especially when comments about my weight are thrown in. I hate that. I mean, I get it, I’m a big girl, there is no need to remind me of my size. “Oh Jasmine, you’ve grown fatter since I saw you!” “This is not fat, this is sexiness being oozed out. Have you seen my breasts and ass? BAM!”

I mean, why not comment on something totally not my weight? Be different. “Oh Jasmine, you’ve got incredible writing skills that is beyond your age and even if I don’t agree some of the things you said, I am proud to know you personally.” BAM!

SO, here are things I CANNOT do.

Putting up the middle finger

Sorry guys, I can’t. It feels too vulgar and if I had to, which I often find that I do, I’d bring my energy from every part of my body to put up that middle finger. Isn’t it funny? I can cuss, but I can’t physically cuss. How pathetic!

Can’t stop overthinking that I’m good enough for something or someone

I cannot stop overthinking how useless I can be sometimes and it’s true. I get really awkward and tense when I talk about having a boyfriend because I tend to think that people would think that I’m too fat or ugly to actually be in a relationship despite how incredibly awesome I am. (Yes, I am aware of that.) I always hear people say things like, “Those people aren’t  attractive and even they have partners and I don’t!”. There are times where I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy just because I am a certain size. It’s messed up, I know.

I fucking blame the media for this!

You

Get it? :D

Okbye!