Real problems only introverted extroverts (and extroverted introverts) would understand

Real problems only introverted extroverts (and extroverted introverts) would understand

Introverted extroverts are the life of the party. You are a social animal who loves meeting new people and have people be super interested to get to know you. You are charismatic, fun and enjoyable to be around with.

However, there are time when all you want to do is be cooped up in your rooms, to not be the centre of attention and to for once, be the quiet one in the group. You just don’t have the mood to mingle and tend to get awfully awkward with people. This confuses people very much but hey, that’s okay!

Here are some real problems only introverted extroverts would understand.

  • You have a ‘fun quota’

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Being an extrovert can be tiring. You enjoy it very much but sometimes, especially times when you use too much of your ‘fun quota’, you get tired and tend to crawl back to your holes to re-energize yourselves.

However, don’t worry because you know that once you are fully energized, you can’t wait to go out and start mingling again! So, get ready world!

  • You have a lot of friends, but only a handful of close friends

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You like to keep our circle small, despite having a large network of friends and acquaintances. You are usually selective when it comes to who you share your deepest darkest secrets to and try not to blabber everything about yourself to just about everyone.

But having said that, you do have many groups of friends that you hang with many different interests and stories that you share with, and that’s the awesome part! You can never have too little friends or the party would be a bore!

  • Avoiding people

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When you’re not feeling it, all you want to do is to avoid people at all cause. See a friend you got drunk with the other night in the shopping mall? Avoid! See that crush you’ve been flirting non-stop with at the dinner party last week in the petrol station? Avoid!

But wait! They see you and now they’re walking to you. You can’t run any more so you put the biggest smile you can and go, “HEY!!!!! I’m so happy to see you!”.

Talking to them isn’t too bad after all, but once they go away, you run and make sure you don’t bump into them ever again. Well, at least until next Saturday at the bar!

  • People throw stuff at you all the time

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Because of your fun and outspoken personality, people tend to make you do things a lot. I.e., do presentations, emcee for events, public speaking, confronting people etc etc… In reality, there are some things in the list that you rather not do.

I for one hate confronting people, I am too scared to do the job!

  • “You? Shy?????”

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Yep, you get that ALL the time. Apparently, nobody believes that you could ever be shy, but it does happen!

  • You’re a ball of surprises!

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You know those girls who don’t wear make-up at all and have zero fashion sense almost all the time, then when you see them at a party, BAM! They look gorgeous with their sex-me make-up and fuck-me clothes.

Yeah, you’re kind of like that.

When you’re not feeling it, you keep quiet and lay low. Everyone pass you without noticing. Nobody thinks that you’re important enough. Then there’s that one person in the room who is super hyper that it’s fucking pissing you off. You want to shine too, just like her/him, but you can’t. You just can’t. Not right now anyway.

Then one day… BAM! Your personality kicks in and your fun side is shown! You become the life of the room and everyone notices you, even that annoyingly hyper girl/boy shuts up because the limelight is on you now and there’s nothing they can do about it. You hear people saying, “I didn’t know you’re this fun!” as dance your ass off to Carly Rae Jepson’s I Really Like You.

You do you now, you hear?

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When your followers on Instagram are on private

When your followers on Instagram are on private

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Getting a new follower on any of your social media sites is pretty cool! It means that your voice is heard and pictures are seen. It’s a great feeling to have someone willfully (and not forced or bribed) and genuinely be interested in your life.

Many of my social media stuff – Facebook, Twitter – are on private, but my Instagram (@jazzzmineking) and of course, blog, are very much public.

Last week, I sent a short audition video for a radio announcer search. That first video on why I should be a radio announcer garnered 90 likes (the most likes I ever had), kind comments from friends and strangers alike, and 10 new followers. It was wild and I thought it was pretty cool too.

I was excited to meet my followers and those who ‘liked’ the video. I wanted to know who they are and what they look like, perhaps know what their lives are like to as I thought it was pretty cool and kind of them to like and comment on my video and even followed me.

To my frustration, many of their accounts are private which kind of sort of sucked. I understood the relevance of keeping your social media private and I am all for privacy as I myself get pretty anal about privacy issues especially when it comes to the Internet (I don’t use my real name on Facebook too!), but personally, I was feeling pretty sad that I couldn’t stalk get to know my followers while they enjoy getting glimpses of my life.

But hey, good on you for keeping your accounts private and for your friends and family’s eyes only!

I just wished that Instagram would give us ‘followee’ like a 24 hours free pass to visit our followers’ private accounts or something. That would be pretty cool! I would love to get to know some of my followers! But hey, that’s just me.

Tell me I’m not the only one feeling this!

Waking up after a good dream

Waking up after a good dream

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We all had good dreams before. Sometimes, we remember it and most of the time, we don’t, but that happy feeling stayed and that’s a good feeling.

The best dream I had and one that I remember more than 10 years on – albeit romanticized now I would imagine – is me meeting Westlife. That was perhaps when I was 11 or 12 years old? The dream was insane and I loved every bit of it! I dreamt that I met them and we exchanged phone numbers. I was holding on to the paper with the number before it tragically flew away from my hands.

That was when I woke up.

I was so devastated when I woke up that I forced myself to sleep instantly, thinking that I could delve back into the dream again and continue it; perhaps stopping the car and running back again to ask for their number or get a quick peek at what the number was. However, dreams don’t work that way because I ended up sleeping in a dreamless sleep (or perhaps I did dream of something but couldn’t remember any of it).

I wish there was a way for us to make our dreams a reality – voluntarily of course, I wouldn’t want my nightmares to come to life. Yikes! Or at least, let us continue with that happy dream after a sudden waking up. “Let me sleep, let me sleep, let me sleeeeeppp!!!!!” I told my brain following the Westlife dream. *laughs*

I had a really weird but nice dream today though. I dreamt that I was forced to marry some guy as my parents have already paid his parents for my hand in marriage – I am assuming that he is hopeless in the love department. He turned out to be a really nice and sweet guy. Me forcing myself to love and care for him ended up with me actually loving and caring for him. It’s a weird situation to be in but it felt good for some reason. I’m sort of smiling at the thought of it. I don’t know how perfume went into the mix, but I dreamt of smelling his cologne as I pecked him on the neck.

Anyway, that dream left me with a feel-good feeling and that’s a really nice feeling to have!

I wish all dreams are like that!

The complicated reality of the past.

The complicated reality of the past.

I had a sort of aha moment a few months ago that sort of made me sad, to be honest. It’s nothing great or anything, my ah-ha moment. Actually, I suppose many of us do think about it occasionally but rarely ponder on it deeply.

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Finishing university was a scary yet exciting time for me. I was ready to carve my future and made sure decisions I made would be histories that I would be proud of in the future. I wanted to be in so many shoes but was so afraid to path my way to wear them that I occasionally opted for other options instead. Plans changed last minute, but so far, things are falling into place; not exactly, but at least it’s going somewhere.

My aha moment came when I realized how obsessed I became with creating a future for myself where my future FUTURE (yes, double) self would not regret (of my past). Does that make sense? And then it dawned on me that as much as I am given the opportunity to create my future and ultimately, ‘change’ it any time I want, I realized that I can’t change my past.

Such model, such wow.

I know what you must be thinking, “But isn’t that how it is though? We can’t change the past. That’s life’s basic rule, Jasmine.” And yeah, I agree but I never really pondered on that sad fact; that my past is fixed and everything that happened in it cannot be changed.

Like how I cannot change the fact that I quit Karate at 13 when I should’ve continued it maybe not as a career, but a form of work out. I cannot change the fact that I should have continued my Mandarin classes in high school so that it would be better, much better. I cannot change the fact that I would never be a daddy’s girl and would never know what that means or how that is because our past disabled us of such relationship, but that’s okay because we have each other and that’s all that matters.

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There are just so many things in the past that made you, well, you, and you wonder what will happen if you tweak certain things in your life, what or how would you be today?

I do, anyway.

Self discovery means throwing yourself everywhere.

Self discovery means throwing yourself everywhere.

Okay so, I have 4 jobs now.

Yes, FOUR. How? Why? Well, I think it has a lot to do with me trying to not freak myself out as much for not knowing that I want to do in life.

People say you tend to figure out about things after graduating from university. Sure, but not for everyone. For the most part, some of us are still figuring out and trying to see where we fit and stuff.

So how do you figure out?

...by drinking someone's overpriced drink? Perhaps!
…by drinking someone’s overpriced drink? Perhaps!

I believe in waiting for the next big thing to come knocking at your door, but don’t wait too long. Reality check, it may or may not come. Sometimes you get a big break, other times, you need to do a lot in order to get (and know) that big break. It’s better to go out there and find it, what I think.

For the second half of 2014, right after university, I was basically figuring things out. I was traveling a lot (‘traveling’ meant going back to my second home; KL – I was and still is based in KK) despite not having much money, though I saved as much as I can from my monthly pocket money thanks to my parents – less than RM300 a month. Other times when I’m back in KK, I would stay at home, a lot, and do the normal things that jobless people do – eat, sleep, rave, repeat.

Have you ever been so bored that you find posing with big ass fruits more exciting?
Have you ever been so bored that you find posing with big ass fruits more exciting?

When December rolled in and I basically still didn’t know what I wanted to do – I mean, I had an idea but you know, I wasn’t sure – I knew I had to start the new year with at least a paying job. So I managed to secure a part time job and one thing let to another, I now have 4 part time jobs that covers a few hours of my weekends and weekday nights. Pretty insane but pretty cool  too actually.

Now, whenever people ask me what I do for a living, I can proudly say I have 4 jobs; part time jobs, sure, but jobs. That’s always a great conversation starter, hah!

Bare in mind, if you do plan to have multiple jobs (part time or not), make sure you can keep up to it! I survived Week 1, so I guess that’s okay. (I GUESS!)

My 2015 resolution is ‘GROWTH‘.

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Honestly, I don’t know what growth I am aiming for this year, but at least I am getting paid for it. Wink wink! Okay, bad example, but you know what I mean.

I am still new at this whole 4 jobs thing, but I’ve friends who were in the same boat as me and they pretty much threw themselves out there and one thing led to another, they found their ‘calling’ and the rest is history! It’s that snowball effect, you know. You start here, then you get to know some people, get into some things and liked it, pursue it further and make it into a passion. Now one of them earn a 5 figure income! WHOA!

It’s all about experimenting, people! Keeping things exciting ;)

"Look ma! I'm on a brochure!!" - A job in the marketing department of my university led me to be a talent scout for brochures to eventually be THE talent! Something to add to the resume eh!
“Look ma! I’m on a brochure!!” – A job in the marketing department of my university led me to be a talent scout for brochures to eventually THE talent! Something to add to the resume eh!

That nails tho! Hehe.

Anyway, wherever you are and whatever you do this point of your life, and no matter whether you’ve figured things out or have not, I wish you the all the best! 

The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time

The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time

“When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.”

That paragraph tho…

Thought Catalog

Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.

“It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.

Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth…

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An Imagined Reality – #7 Tears, The Proof

An Imagined Reality – #7 Tears, The Proof

To see one’s tears flowing freely is often an indication of seeing one being overwhelmed by blanketing sorrow and rolling sadness, a moment very much in the present yet sourced from either the fears of the past or the terrors of tomorrow. In the rare exception of seeing tears on the notions of glee and happiness, the qualities of a tear remain no different from that which stems from being sad. Rather, tears are most definitely assumed to be because of an episode of great sadness that manifests itself on the scratches of one’s reality. How wrong the perception of tears can be in our eyes. How superficial of us to assume and underestimate the value of tears.

While the pursuit of happiness is by no means wrong, it should not be the utmost priority to chase after. Often do I see smiles, laughter, giggles and grins that amount to nothing more than a brilliant thespian putting up a magnificent facade to fool themselves and the rest of the scenery that they are happy. The mark of a great liar is one who can lie to himself. And to myself, hypocrisy at its best. But I do not wish to be fooled. I seek not the enticement of artificiality. I seek only the wonders of an emotion rooted in sincerity, an emotion worth trusting. With that, I find myself relying on the honesty of tears.

You see comedies churned out onto screens at an industrial rate. Gags and jokes replicated, often ignoring the peripheries of originality. You hear laughter thrown about carelessly, without an extra thought or reason to do so. I find myself wondering of these bouts of happiness occurring at such random yet regular moments of a day, how many of them are true? It is far too easy to turn up a frown. An ease that I have little faith in. It is not that I do not wish to be happy. I simply find doubt as to what I am truly happy about. The integrity of a smile is often compromised by a void of intentions to be happy for. Instead, I admire the sincerity of tears now that are difficult to replicate or sustain.

As great as it is to laugh and be merry, to cry and shed tears is a mark that you have yet to desensitize yourself into needing to manufacture happiness in your everyday, to blindly pursue that brief grain of joy at the expense of what may really be important to one’s existence. Tears are simply a proof that you are indeed still human who lives with purpose. For only with purpose would there be hopes to pine for and expectations to grasp.  All part of a being that is complex on so many levels yet simple in its entirety. The genuineness of tears remain an aspect of human emotion that I find impossible to replicate yet it takes only the slightest of triggers to invoke streams from the depths of one’s emotions. Memories of yesterday coupled with the struggles of today and the doubts of tomorrow are excellent brewers of tears. Yet, these are the very essence of a person’s soul. With no hardship to bear, there would be no relief to savour, no joy to behold. Tears are simply evidence of the human in our struggles, an illustration of disappointment of reality. An honest interpretation of our thoughts to ourselves.

And from it all, I find solace and sanctuary in knowing that beneath the layers of one’s persona, such a pure form of emotion still resides and emerges from time to time for the viewing of the public. It reassures me that I have yet to sell the honesty of my emotions for the pursuit of what is not necessarily real. Perhaps the next time I shed tears, I will remember to appreciate them in a different light. Not only to be reminded of how human it is to experience sadness but to be reassured that I can still be honest to myself through genuine emotions.


Precise yet unpredictable. Confident yet insecure. Self-doubting yet self-assured. Dickson lives in a constant paradox, finding both comfort and torment within his thoughts. 

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