Disclaimer: Thoughts expressed on this post are of author’s own personal opinion. By the way, I understand that Mother’s Day just ended, but I’ve been thinking about posting this for the longest time, so here it is!
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“Don’t have sex before marriage because if you do, he will leave you. These men only want to use you for your body and that’s it.”
This sounds all too familiar. I remember my mom telling me this when I was growing up. She means well, of course, that I am sure. Now, although this may be an important advice to a much younger me, as an adult however, I find this advice problematic.
Here’s another one.
“Be careful of who you hang out with, especially boys. They may put stuff in your drink and do things to you. Be careful not to leave your drinks unattended.”
Don’t get m wrong. Yes, there is truth in this. It’s obvious from all the reports that we see, but advices like this makes me confused, annoyed, paranoid and scared, all at the same time. Yes, bad people exist. Yes, there are bad men out there, but there are also bad women. Yes, women are more at risk than men, but the question remains…
What about the good men in our lives?
We so focused and introduced over and over again on the bad men in our lives; men who will potentially hurt, use and abuse you, but we rarely, if ever, appreciate the men that do not hurt you.
What about the good men who will treat you nice, who will appreciate you for who you are, who will care and protect you, who makes you feel good and beautiful and will always be there for you? What about them?
You see, we tell our daughters how to protect themselves from bad people that we forgot the good people that they will surround themselves with or potentially surround themselves with. Believe me, there are plenty of good people in this world – women AND men. Surprise, surprise. So, why don’t we prepare our girls for that too?
“Damn! Mom didn’t prepare me for this. She keeps telling me of the bad guys I meet, but this guy is amazing. So like… WHAT NOW?!”
Good men exist and have always existed, we forget about them and not appreciate them enough. (I speak on behalf of myself, and it may or may not be applied to you).
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I guess what I’m trying to say in this post is… STOP BEING AFRAID.
Stop being paranoid and think that you will always get hurt or that you will always meet bad men in your life because believe me, they are plenty good ones, you just don’t realize it.
If you keep meeting bad men in your life or keep having bad men as a partner, then maybe it’s not the men that you should blame, it’s yourself(?). Just a thought my two cents. Understand yourself and your environment, identify what is wrong with either one. If your family has shitty male (and female) relatives, then stay away. Say hi and bye, but try not going ‘beyond’ it, try not having a ‘normal’ relationship with them because negative energy should be avoided, family or not.
We often take things for granted. We identify bad things (and people) in our lives so easily and complain about negative things that we let these things and emotions overpower all the other MANY good things that happens in our lives. Most importantly, we ignore the great men in our lives.
Big hugs to all the wonderful men in my life and yours.
Big love to all the dads, brothers, boyfriends, best guy friends, uncles, grandfathers, grand-uncles, relatives, cousins, friends, strangers and many more! Thank you for your love, care and support.
WE LOVE YOU! ♥